I've been staring at this my laptop screen for a whole class now. Waiting to go to the next class then realized we have a story slam now I am wishing this class wasn't over in a few minutes.

The plumber trudged up the long twisting driveway towards the looming mansion. This was exhausting. It felt like he was called up to fix this lady's problems every single day! He had better things to do. He had family; brothers, cousins, more brothers. He had a pet whose eggs would go bad if they weren't harvested in a timely fashion. He had little mushroom friends. But this wouldn't stop Mario. He had to help the Princess Peach.

Panic was racing through everyone’s mind. There was no way we could blow this. All I could do was watch at first base as the trusted pitcher delivered pitch after pitch outside of the strike zone.

 

Let me rewind – It was the championship game. The series was tied 1-1 in a best of three match. We were the underdogs, by far. The only reason we even made it to the playoffs was because there was no elimination in little league, an attempt to promote fairness, I guess. We already shocked everyone by beating the Athletics once. With our backs on the wall, we were able scrounger up a big inning. The score was 7-3.  All of a sudden, our pitcher started acting uncharacteristically, walking several people in a row and giving up big hits. The fielders started to get uneasy as the score was creeping up on us. It was now 7-6 with the bases loaded and the count 3-0, the coach walked out to the mound, and signaled for a pitching change. He was calling for me. I threw my warm up pitches and prepared for the most unnerving baseball experience of my life. I immediately threw two pitches for strikes, knowing that if I missed, we would lose the game. He then proceeded to foul off the next couple of pitches. I prepared for the next pitch. I winded up. SWING AND A MISS.

--From this point, it's all sort of blurry. My teammates came racing in and bombarded me at the pitchers mound. We were awarded our championship trophies and were left with an experience we would never forget, being the underdogs the entire season, coming back to beat the beast team in the league.

I poured a bag of skittles into a jar, turned out all the lights in the room excepting the flashlight I had placed underneath said jar, and stared at the delicious rainbow candies within. I then moved the jar about until the skittles formed a mountain and gazed upon this little world under the bright light of its false sun. I imagined myself inside jar. I imagined myself inhabiting that simple world. I imagined while in this place, I climbed the malnutritous mound of skittles. I had looked haggard and hungry during this expedition, comically so when considering the location. I climbed with fervor, deciding the petite me in the jar had long stared at this mountain. It had haunted me, forever looming above, keeping a secret knowledge at it peak. Anywho, as I mentioned before: I climbed until the peak and I were but yards apart. Feet. Inches. I took my final step and stood atop, looking out through the glass of the jar to see me, in my present 5'6'' form, staring down at my petite me's world with a giddy curiosity. My petite me yelled "Atlas!". Both 'me's laughed heartily. I than hastily shut off the flashlight, turned back on the lights I had earlier turned off, and repressed the terribly unpleasant thoughts that arose as I ate little me's scrumptious mountain.

Congratulations! I am pleased to offer you admission to the College of Health and Human Development for Fall 2011 at the Penn State University Park Campus.  

mask for sell: new, never used. 

Every night during dinner, my brother tells us jokes that occurred to him at school.  I swear he has a running narrative in that head of his, but that's a story for another night.  My dad bought him a watch for his birthday last week and asked him if he was enjoying wearing it.

"Yea, it was great in class today!"
"What happened?"
"Well my teachers are always running into lunch, so today when my math teacher asked, 'What's 34 divided by 2', I looked at my wrist and thought, It's 5 past 12.  Can we go now? 

At least his jokes stay inside his head.

I looked at my skinny jean slim and thin
Too tight for me to get my legs up in
It's the death of skinny jeans
because they don't fit me but Billy Jean
fitting tighter than a MJ glove
Fitting tighter than grandma's hugs,
but is that really love?