I'm very Sad, charger is broken

6 word story.

I have this annoying habit of correcting people when they say me and somebody else, when instead they should be saying that person and I. For example if somebody says,
"Me and Susannah went to the ice cream store." I correct them and say, "You mean Susannah and I." It's awfully annoying. I know this because people use to do this to me all the time. It always really bugged me. It makes me such a hypocrite for constantly correcting people, but I am helping them improve their grammar. Anyways, i think the past people in my life who always corrected me should really be the ones to blame. They made start this awfully irritating habit.

Today, my boyfriend and I are attempting to put on a comedy show similar to the stand-up specials of "The Roast of (insert name here)".  He has written a script and we are even inviting guests over to watch the presentation.

Guess who we're roasting"?  Yeah, you guessed it...his dad.

"JOIN US TODAY FOR THE ROAST OF KARL BETTERIDGE".

see what i want so much , should never hurt this bad.
"never did this before", thats what the virgin said.
weve been "generally warned", thats what the surgeon said
God talk to me now this is a emergency

and i always thought
you having my child was our destiny
but i cant even vibe with you sexually
cuz everytime , i would try
you would question me
saying " you fuckin them girls... disrespectin me?"
" you dont see how ya lies is effectin me?"
" YOU DONT SEE HOW OUR LIFE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE?"
 " and i never let a nigga get that close to me!"
" and you aint cracked up to what you were supposed to be..."
" your always gone , youll always be , where them hoes will be! "
.......

and this the first time she ever spilled her soul to me.

she told me just last week that i should stop using my umbrella as a rifle.
its my umbrella, and my freakin imagination.
then she said it was  a "inappropriate place"
so my question is : when are guns EVER  in  an appropriate place?
she goes  on to say " stop shooting your classmates and do some work"
she should be asking me to stop shooting her . because lets face it , shes the real victim here.   im  on the crime scene and shes the main target .i only pretend like im shooting someone else when she catches me.

anyway i put my pretend rifle away because i decided to do some work .
but since i was so busy shootin her and her laptop up  i didnt know what we were supposed to be doing.
so i began asking my table mates questions about the work . BUTTTT she said that i was being disruptive.
and in attempts to make an example out of me, she told me to get up and come to the front of the classroom ....LIKE I WAS FIVE? girlllllll bye.
but i didnt even move because I enjoy giving her a hard time .
so i sat there until she looked down at her latop screen and instead of  me taking out my rifle again i just pulled my hands from my pocket and made this hand-shotgun motion with my fingers.
shes lucky i didnt pull two out at a time. else her brain would have splattered all over the unattractive presentation she made for class.
now you wanna know what this is all for?
 its for ALLLLL of the attitude she gives me ,its for all those smart hand motions she gives me like i speak sign language.  its for her bobble head cranium moving in circles. its for her hostile responses to mostly all  of my questions  . its for  her eating me up inside when she calls me darling ,  its for her nonchalantly giving me zeros on classwork she literally sits down and helps me with, its for her thinking she runs this town.

so im not killing her , im killing her thoughts.
she doesnt run THIS town.
especially when i have my  water bottle AK47.
she literally despises when she sees me using fake guns. but i literally despise her .
and she needs to take fashion lessons from  her classroom neighbor,  shes only a door knock away. because those petite pants and that bandanna print dress is not the business. my eyes are stressed out by these rerun outfits . so here's my suggestion, put on your big helmet and ride that little bike  to the mall honey, toots, sweets, DARLING.

for the record though , i would never shoot anyone . do not take this as a threat, because we all know her dramatic behind would.

Excited!

storytelling today dredged up memories, memories of my one true regret. I'm not in a good enough place to talk about it now that it has just been brought up again but by the time I come up in story slam i should be.