While reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s it made me question The role of the individual within a position of power and one that is the opposite is a theme heavily expressed throughout the course of the book with the constant defiance from McMurphy and the pressuring authority of the Big Nurse. Reading these different scenes within the text it brought up the question of how much power does authority really have and what can one without it do against it? My own personal connection to this has always been that authority has its reasons and job for existing the same as any other person though it’s what a person in that position does with it that makes it so special.
One scene that I thought encapsulated this idea of the use of power is how the Big Nurse manipulates the clock within the ward. “The Big Nurse is able to set the clock wall at whatever speed she wants by just turning one of those dials in the steel door.” (68) I had always thought that within the ward the Big Nurse was simply doing her job and as one of the few women there she had to be a bit more aggressive and demanding for the patients to listen. This scene though changed that fact as what reason would she have to be changing the clock like this other than to manipulate and control the patients within the ward. Broomden even says that she eases off the throttle when the patients can’t handle it. This I think really made me realize that people within positions of authority, even ones that are to support and protect people don’t always have the best intentions.
McMurphy is the perfect antithesis to the character of the Big Nurse as he is the rebellion to her authority. He’s the kind of character that really shows that even with authority constantly fighting for control there will always be someone that tries to fight against it. One scene that shows this well is when the patients are talking about putting the TV up and watching the World Series. “Who the hell says so Jesus I haven’t missed a world series in years. Even when I was in the cooler one September they let us bring in a TV and watch the series; they’d had a riot on their hands if they hadn’t.” (107) McMurphy is one of those characters that knows what they want and will fight until he has it. His constant defiance is interesting and I think shows how authority figures are viewed by those without that same amount of power. With McMurphy being one of those people who will fight tooth and nail against them as they believe something is wrong with how that figure is leading the people.
Then with two extremes there is always the one in the middle, Chief Bromden. I believe that he represents the bystanders or middle ground within the world of authority. He’s almost like the eyes that sit and watch, never trying to involve themselves other than just to watch, hence why he pretends to be deaf and mute. One scene that I think is able to explain the bystander effect and how authority puts fear into people is when Bromden is wondering what might happen if the nurses find out that he can hear. “The staff always let me clean the room because they didn’t think I could hear but now that they saw me lift my hand when McMurphy told me to, won’t they know I can hear?”( 129) With this scene I thought of how we see the bystander effect today as well as the consequences that come with it. In many cases you see people not say anything or not speak out because of the presence of other people. I think Bromden saying at the end “won’t they know I can hear?” really shows how authority can put a fear into someone or at least make them second guess about speaking out or doing something that might defy that authority.
Throughout this story and as I continue reading it seems like this story will continue these themes of the fight against authority and how each character deals with them. It really made me relook at how each side will deal with or around a situation. Specifically in this story the Big Nurse is controlling her patients, then McMurphy rebelling against this authority and rid the Big Nurse of her control, then Bromden who really has no affiliation with either party is just simply a bystander trying to get by. I think that this fully resembles the complexities of real life and how authority works in our world. As even within the Psyche ward there is no right or wrong, good or bad, just different views on how authority should work.

For this Lit Log, I created a visual representation for pages 130-132 of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. During this section, Chief Bromden enters the ward’s staff room to begin cleaning while the staff prepares for their meeting.

The scene starts with Bromden on his way to the staff room, water bucket and sponge in hand. The Big Nurse suddenly zooms past him to wait beyond the door. Out in the hallway, he notices “how clear it is–no fog any place [p.130].” As often as Bromden’s fog reoccurs, there was no reason to include it in this particular visual.

Bromden walks up to the staff room door and looks through the peephole, which is why I decided to use a fisheye perspective for this visual and is part of where I got the artwork title from. Although there’s no peephole present when Bromden actually starts to clean the room, I figured the unique perspective would be a neat call back to what happened right beforehand.

For the colors used, the staff room is described as having a “green seepage,” and that “it’ll be all over the walls and windows by the time the meeting is halfway through [p.130].” On top of the green background, I also gave the drawing a dingy look with subtle stain textures. Bromden himself is inverted from the green color, which was mainly just so he could stand out but also because of his uniqueness in this situation. The room is filled with staff members, and Bromden is the only patient there.

That brings us to the Big Nurse, Nurse Ratched, who is staring at Bromden skeptically for raising his hand with McMurphy earlier and indirectly suggesting that he isn’t actually deaf. This is also a part of where I got the artwork title from. During his wall scrubbing, Bromden tells us that he can “still feel [Nurse Ratched] standing at the door and drilling into [his] skull till in a minute she’s going to break through, till [he’s] just about to give up and yell and tell them everything if she don’t take those eyes off [him] [p.131].” To communicate this, I decided to have the nurse’s eyes glow sharply while giving Bromden a nervous facial expression in front of her.

After a few moments of watching Bromden clean, the nurse “realizes that she’s being stared at too–by all the rest of the staff [p.132].” Some of them sit in the background with their coffee and cigarettes, impatiently waiting to get the meeting rolling.

A miscellaneous detail regarding the visual is that Bromden lifts his sponge “up above [his] head so everybody in the room can see how it’s covered with green slime and how hard [he’s] working [p.132].” There was also a film of this book (that I forgot about over the years), so I based Bromden’s and Big Nurse’s designs loosely on those of the actors.

Some things that I would have liked to include in this visual are the patients who “materialized in the flesh [p.131],” as well as the strained table legs and knotted chairs that Bromden describes, but because they don’t necessarily happen in this particular staff meeting, I decided to include different things instead.

In conclusion, the nurse’s stare and Bromden’s discomfort of being singled out are the two things that are portrayed most in this scene. This is significant because we later witness Bromden actually use his voice with McMurphy, proving that he was never deaf. It makes the nurse’s skepticism all the more meaningful, considering we now have other people that can spoil Bromden’s secret.

In One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey’s main character, Chief Bromden, exists as a mostly-mute mental patient in a psych ward. As readers, we don’t really know if what Chief Bromden is saying is the truth or not. Bromden also keeps at us a distance, and Kesey reveals information about Bromden’s past slowly. Chief Bromden is a deeply guarded character. I think that Kesey wrote him this way so we could learn more about the psych ward through the lens of someone who doesn’t share that much about himself. This is important because too much personal information about Bromden too soon might taint our opinion of him and of the environment he exists in.

Chief Bromden lies to himself repeatedly. One instance of him doing this was when R. P. McMurphy was trying to get other patients in the psych ward to raise their hands to vote for their TV time to match up with when the World Series was happening. Chief Bromden raises his hand, but before, he tells the readers all the way that McMurphy has programmed him to raise his hand. Chief reasons, “McMurphy did something to [my arm] that first day, put some kind of hex on it with his hand so it won’t act like I order it” (pg. 123). Chief continues, referencing two large motifs in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, wires and fog, “McMurphy’s got hidden wires hooked to it, lifting it slow just to get me out of the fog and into the open where I’m fair game” (123). Finally, Chief Bromden gives in to the honest truth, “That’s not the truth. I lifted [my arm] myself” (123). In this scene, we see Bromden start lying to himself and to us, but then corrects himself and tells the reader what actually happened. Lying to yourself is a habit that everyone experiences. I think of lying to myself as both self sabotaging and self protecting.

The times that I’ve lied to myself, I’ve done it semi-knowingly. Recently, my childhood dog died. I knew Angus from the time I was five to the time I was seventeen. He was, for all intents and purposes, my best friend. When he died, I told myself that I would be fine. Hours after he was euthanized, I drove myself to choir rehearsal. The next day, I performed a four-bar solo in a choir concert. The only reason I was able to do this was because I lied to myself. I told myself that he was only a dog, that he hadn’t been himself for a while, that I could just get a new dog. I told myself this so I could function. It was a measure of pure self preservation.

Another lie I tell myself is to soothe my driving anxiety. I have to drive upwards of two times a week, and every time I get in the driver’s side of the car, I have to tell myself that car accidents happen when drivers are drunk or distracted. If I promise myself that I won’t be intoxicated or on my phone, then I will never hurt myself or anyone else on the road. While this statistic has some truth to it, it’s nowhere near a complete analysis of causes for car accidents. I tell myself this so I am able to drive anywhere, but it might actually do more harm than good. Telling myself this could give me a sense of false confidence. Lying to myself can be both good and bad for myself.

When reading One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest and reflecting on Chief Bromden’s journey of self-deception and the illusions created by his mind and the environment he’s in, I recognize the parallel struggles in my own brain. Just like Chief Bromden, I struggle with denial when it comes to coping with grief and things that scare me. His moments of clarity—where he confronts the truth of his actions and experiences—serve as a reminder of the importance of self awareness. Reading One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest has made me realize that I lie to myself a lot more than I think I do, and that my self deception isn’t purely positive or negative. While I can recognize that lying to myself isn’t a terrible act, I still think that the most important step I can take is understanding when I’m doing it, and being responsible for my actions.

In One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, the Nurse Ratched (Big Nurse) holds the highest level of authority and has jurisdiction over everything in the ward. The chronics and acutes are expected to follow the rules of the ward regardless of whether they want to or not. One acute in particular, McMurphy, makes his best effort to change some of these rules to benefit the acutes, chonics, and himself. Although his requests are reasonable, they’re often shut down by the Big Nurse because they inherently violate ward policy, intended to keep the patient’s best interest in mind. It can be easy to see the Big Nurse as a villain because it might seem like she intentionally trying to make life in the ward less enjoyable for patients. However, it’s important to remind ourselves that the Big Nurse is committed to her job, and being a strict enforcer of ward policy is a by-product of that. Ken Kesey’s novel has encouraged me to put myself in the shoes of authority figures and not instantly view them in a negative light. The Big Nurse may seem like a villainous character, but in reality, she’s just an employee of the ward doing her job. On the contrary, I sometimes get frustrated at my parents who may seem like they are being harsh on me and want to restrict my freedom, but in reality, have my best interest at heart and only want what’s good for me.  In middle school, arguments with my parents became frequent as I wanted to become more independent. I remember getting angry at my parents whenever they’d say I couldn’t hang out with friends or had to come home at an earlier time. One Friday, my middle school buddies and I decided to hang out at one of our houses. We initially planned to just hang out for a couple hours, but as time passed we all thought it would be smart to ask if we could hang out for a bit longer. One by one each of us asked our parents if we could stay a few more hours. I called my mom and asked for a sleepover but was met with a stern, no. Frustrated, I pleaded with my mom telling her that I’d only stay a few more hours. She responded by telling me that our car was in the shop so I would need to get home via public transportation, which she refused because the neighborhood my friends and I were in wasn’t very safe. Caught in my emotions, I wasn’t able to understand why she said no and immediately got sour. However, when I put myself in my mom’s shoes I can see that there’s no good reason to be frustrated at my mom because all she wanted was for her son to be safe.   Similarly, the Big Nurse holds jurisdiction over McMurphy who often challenges her judgment. On page 125, McMurphy turns on the TV in the ward to watch the World Series game. Knowing that this violates the ward schedule he continues to watch TV along with other acutes and chronics. Nurse Ratched comes over to the TV and exclaims to McMurphy, “You are supposed to be working during these hours… Mr. McMurphy, I’m warning you!”(125). This line of dialogue from Nurse Ratched sheds a bad light on her because she’s objecting to a leisure pastime for the ward members that isn’t causing any harm. In addition to this, her manner in responding to McMurphy is aggressive, which can further solidify the idea that she has a negative persona. However, knowing that McMurphy should be following the ward schedule instead of watching TV puts him in the wrong. The Big Nurse may seem like the antagonist, but her stern personality is only present to reinforce the ward policy and maintain order. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest has encouraged me to sympathize more with authority figures by putting myself in their shoes. It’s easy to let emotions get in the way of understanding why you can’t get what you want, no matter how reasonable it may be. In the past, this often caused me to hold onto negative feelings, which did nothing good. But taking a step back to understand the context and reasoning behind why you’re being denied can help you make better decisions and improve relationships with authority figures. Even though it might seem like my mom and Nurse Ratched are being harsh, they only want the best for who they have authority over. 

My artwork shown above is the equal representation of how controlling the “Big Nurse” treats and controls the other patients in the ward. The wires show a depiction of control that the Big Nurse has over the patients in the ward. My artwork shows the Big Nurse using wires to control the patients as puppets. The nurse lifts up her wooden cross (marionette controller) and down the wooden cross is a bunch of wires. The nurse holds it in a menacing way, and has a huge smirk on her face. The Big Nurse from the book is depicted as a cold hearted human. She clearly has more importance of her reputation and the control, and power she has over her patients rather than the actual health of the patients.

The nurse has wires wrapped around her head forming a nurse cap. She stands over the patients as she takes the wires and is a puppeteer. The patients have a sorrowful look on their faces as the nurse wraps the wires around them and controls them as puppets. We, as readers, know that the patients that are in the ward can undergo very harsh and unfair treatments by the nurses, and the people in higher positions in the ward.

We also know that the nurse “Nurse Ratched” or better known as “Big Nurse” has the tendency to control the patients. “I see her sit in the center of this web of wires like a watchful robot, tend her network with mechanical insect skill, know every second which wire runs where and just what current to send up to get the results she wants. (pgs. 25-26) The wires use a figurative expression showing that the nurse controls the patients with wires, using them like a restraint and a sign of being controlled. Almost how a puppeteer controls their puppet with the string and wooden cross.

In my artwork I wanted to depict this as a form of deep meaning and metaphorical art. The strings are wires symbolizing the control and how chained down the patients are in the ward. Just like the quote explained how the nurse was almost like a robot, always knowing what to do and what she wanted to do at any second, but not only that the wires that represented a sense of control towards the patients.

I wanted to incorporate the metaphor of the puppeteer because it can correlate with the actual scene from the story. Not only that, but I also wanted to create a correlation between the nurse and the patients. How the patients feel around the Nurse, and how the nurse feels about the patients. In my artwork the patients are being controlled, and tied up, silenced. Just like in the book, many of the patients see Nurse Ratched as a “Big” and “Scary” nurse. They do not see her as a nurse that is cheerful nor nice to them. I wanted to make sure those who see my art can make a significant connection with the “Big Nurse” and how she treats her patients. I also hope that people can see the metaphor when it comes to the puppeteer and the “Big Nurse” controlling these people in the ward.

For my drawings I wanted to portray the meetings that are mentioned in the book. For my drawing I split the page to show how the meetings changed before and after McMurphy started speaking up. On the before side, Nurse Ratched aka Big Nurse and the doctors are facing the patients. Nurse Ratched is drawn the biggest and the doctor slightly smaller. I drew them bigger because when I read the scene about the meetings I always saw her as the biggest person in the room because she ran the whole thing and voiced her opinions the most. I also did that because in the meetings and overall in the ward they had the most power. Power over how stuff ran and over the patients. In the book, one of the first meetings that we heard of, Nurse Ratched and the doctor did most of the talke. The doctor explains to McMurphy what they are for and Nurse Ratched did everything else. In that meeting none of the patients were speaking up and then Nurse Ractched started talking. The book states, “ That triggered something, some acoustic device in the walls, rigged to turn on at just the sound of those words coming from her mouth. The Acutes stiffened. Their mouths opened in unison. Her sweeping eyes stopped on the first man along the wall,” (pg 45). Then they went on to admit things that they did that were wrong or against the law. The Nurse seemed to scare them and she could get them to do anything she wanted. She had power to control how they acted. However, that did not stay the same throughout the book. On the after side, the patients are drawn bigger than Nurse Ratched and the doctor. I did this to represent the power shift that happens after McMurphy starts speaking up. The patients started doing things they would have never before because it goes against Nurse Ratched and the rules she set up. In the book Mcmurphy is unhappy about being the ward and the rules it has to follow so he starts trying to change it. One of the times he does that is in the meetings. In his second meeting he got the doctor to stand up for his idea of having a game room and then he started talking about random things almost like he was making fun of the meetings. He said, “Saaay, Doctor, what I been dyin’ to know is what did this dream I dreamt the other night mean” (pg 99). He took over the whole meeting and they did not talk about what they were supposed to talk about at all. The narrator of the book goes on to say, “One by one the patients are sneaking looks at her to see how she’s taking the way McMurphy is dominating the meeting, and they see the same thing,” (pg 100). Before McMurphy started speaking up, Nurse Ratched could control what was talked about and that was gone. It also did not stop with just McMurphy. In the book it says, “And that afternoon in the meeting when Cheswick said that everybody’d agreed that there should be some kind of showdown on the cigarette situation…” (pg 149). The patients would have never had the courage to stand up before and that is because Nurse Ratched was slowly starting to lose her power. The patients also started going against what Nurse Ratched said when it came to the fishing trip that McMurphy requested. This shows that the power in the ward is slowly changing from Nurse Ractched to the patients and that is what I tried to show in my drawing.

Page 123, when Bromden raises his hand for the baseball game Written from the perspective of McMurphy

Twenty chronics. I just need one of them to get this damn game on.

“Fffffffuck da wife”, says Ruckly, the youngest of the chronics.

Nineteen chronics.

Eighteen chronics.

I keep going. With every non-response I get, I feel Nurse Ratched’s smile get wider and wider. I feel her presence tower over me more and more. I can’t let this happen. I was already humiliated when I proposed this the first time at the last meeting. I have to win that gamble.

Two chronics. No clue what his name is, but he’s so unresponsive I don’t even bother asking him.

And that leaves Chief Broom. Bromden, I think his real name is? Something like that. But he’s deaf, so what’s it worth? It won’t hurt to try at this point, what have I to lose? That damned nurse ain’t letting me off the hook either way after this.

“Chief, you’re our last bet.” The Indian stares blankly into my face. Please, for the love of God, give me some damn miracle Chief.

“The meeting is adjourned, then”, says Miss Ratched. Fuck her. “And I’d like to see the staff down in the staff room in about an hour. So if there is nothing el-”

Everything stops. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. Chief Broom’s hand twitched. The same hand that spends every day sweeping the floor might actually be of some use for me today. He starts to raise it. I don’t know how, but my miracle has come. That hand goes up, and it’s not coming down. It just happened. The World Series is coming to the ward.

I immediately pull the Chief out of his chair and slap him on the back.

“Twenty-one! The Chief’s vote makes it twenty-one! And by God if that ain’t a majority I’ll eat my hat!”. The Acutes and I are whooping, and in the corner of the room, I see the Nurse. That lady’s been oppressing the people of this ward for ages, and we finally got her back. Now I just need her to lose her temper so that I can win that bet.

She’s still smiling. I know that dirty bitch doesn’t want to admit defeat. The Big Nurse walks out of the day room, and that confirms it, we just won the vote.

I look back at the Chief. His eyes meet mine. I want to find his secret out, if the Indian is really deaf or not. What if he’s been faking it this entire time? I could bet a whole pack of cigs the entire room is thinking about that right now.

I was right. The curiosity of an entire room of Acutes has now piqued, and we’re all taking turns trying to talk to Chief Broom. “Can you hear us Chief?” “How’d you know to raise your hand?” I could bet another pack that the Nurse would like to ask the same questions as well.

But the Indian doesn’t respond. That means one of two things. Either he is indeed faking it, like we all suppose, but he’s still trying to play that damned charade of his. Or, he is actually deaf, and by some miracle, some miracle that could win my bet and push the Big Nurse over the top, he raised his hand the moment I looked at him, not knowing what it’d be for. Either way, he gets my utmost respect for it. Whether it is to break a secret just for the sake of us twenty watching the World Series, or his ability to recognize how much we needed his hand raised, he clearly supports me in some way.

Maybe I’ll find a way to pay Chief Broom back. He doesn’t play cards with us, obviously being (or pretending to be) deaf, so it’s not like I can give him a favorable bet. I don’t really know what he likes, what he wants, or who he even is, really. All I know is that he’s the guy who sweeps, and the guy that just made the tie-breaking vote.

Author’s Note:

With this version of the story being from the perspective of McMurphy, I wanted to highlight three specific aspects of his character: his gambling addiction, his hatred for the Big Nurse, and his determination towards his goals. The first is simple, as McMurphy continuously mentions the bet he made with the other ward members, as well as makes other gambling references. Second, I wrote aggressive language as McMurphy describes the Nurse, building off the actions she made in the actual book. Third, the man’s determination was shown at the beginning of this piece, as I write his internal monologue as he desperately tries to get the World Series game on, and his excitement when he succeeds. Lastly, I use more simple and colloquial language, assuming that that would be the type of thoughts going through the head of McMurphy.

The drawing above represents the scene when Chief Bromden (on the right) is assigned to clean the staff room during a meeting. In the middle of the image, Nurse Ratched looks frightened and nervous as the male higher-up doctors stare at her and she begins to speak about the consequences Mr.McMurphy should face for his horrible actions in the ward. She speaks with her head up high and all of the other doctors look around, confused and questionable, because of the decision that she decided to make. Overall, This scene struck me because it was the first moment we as the readers saw the Big Nurse face her authority with her skillful manipulation of the men who are higher than her. It represents the dynamics of power and control within the institution.
Chief Bromden describes the scene as tense as he enters the room. “But there’s a tenseness in the air I think it’s because of me at first. Then I notice that the Big Nurse hasn’t even sat down, hasn’t even bothered to get herself a cup of coffee.”(131). He then goes on to do his duties, sweeping the floor and scrubbing the walls cautious of the Big Nurse standing in the middle of the room. The doctors besides her comment on her tardy start to the meeting and after that and some more talking amongst the doctors, Nurse Ratched asserts her dominance and begins to speak about a consequence for Mr. McMurphy, only she’s enforcing this. There are no other options. The nurse states “We have weeks, or months, or even years if need be. Keep in mind that Mr. McMurphy is committed. The length of time he spends in this hospital is entirely up to us. Now, if there is nothing else…”(137). In this specific section, Nurse Ratched completely overshadows the other doctors’ thoughts and steers their opinions toward hers. This scene is particularly striking to the readers because it challenges the traditional gender roles we know today. Despite holding the highest positions, the men sit back and listen, and don’t have anything else to say once the nurse states what she wants. Nurse Ratched had psychological control over the men who were in the hospital working over her.
Leading up to this scene, Nurse Ratched’s influence is consistently demonstrated throughout the mental ward. Toward the beginning of the story Chief Bromden, our narrator describes the big nurse as the one who organizes and controls everything “She’s the head nurse and she runs the whole hospital,” he states. This is also expressed when he mentions her role in the “combine” and when she does manipulative things such as turn the clock back or forward, or when she gives the patients excessive amounts of medications. Her control over the staff and patients isn’t just reflecting her role as a head nurse, but it also is a reflection of her ability to manipulate a system.
My artistic choices portray the scene in numerous ways such as creating a scene with a lack of color to represent the lifeless mechanical nature of the hospital. It also reflects the suppression and sadness represented throughout the ward, and how the patients are stripped of their lives once they’ve entered the hospital. I also created a scene with multiple male characters surrounding the nurse to represent how she is the lead “rule-maker” in the ward, and to make it seem like all eyes are on her. I decided to draw Bromden small and tucked away in the corner to represent how the people in the meeting view him. He’s a “deaf crazy person” according to what the others in the room believe. However, including him in the drawing is significant because of his attention to detail and his narrator role in the story, despite being viewed as deaf.

This essay reflects a moment on page 123, within Part 1 of the novel. Section pages 112-124.

The novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” by Ken Kesey, is narrated by a mentally ill patient, within a mental ward as the main setting. This secluded environment in which Kesey places the reader is heavily biased and warped by the main character, Chief Bromden’s skewed views and delusions of the world. He has various hallucinations and trauma from serving in the Army. He is consistently dosed with various drugs—which do not help his traumatic and odd hallucinations—all of these which further warp the reader’s knowledge and view of the novel since it is written through this seemingly delusional narrator.

Ken Kesey forces the reader to think about their relationship to their perception and delusion through this incredibly nuanced narration and setting of the novel. Most of Bromden’s hallucinations and narration have administered a consistent theme throughout the novel of connecting everything he perceives to “machinery.” (pg. 33) Within this theme of machinery, Bromden speculates that wires are controlling him and everything around him. He narrates the story as if he does not have a will of his own. With this notion at the center of attention now, I would like to take a look at a scene where this idea is presented in a way that changes the entire story thereafter: a scene where Bromden exposes himself as a patient who is not deaf. On page 123, Bromden has an inner dialogue about raising his hand in favor of a vote—the action that exposes him as an auditory person—and how it was not him who raised his hand. “McMurphy’s got hidden wires hooked to it, [his arm] lifting it slow,” following this, Bromden continues to think, “He’s doing it, wires….” illustrating how he does not have a will of his own. The reader, using rationality, knows this is not physically possible. More notably, after Bromden narrates a paragraph about his lack of control, and how he “can’t stop” his hand from moving, he prominently states to himself in triumph: “No, That’s not the truth. I lifted it myself.” (both quotes are seen on page 123) This moment is pivotal to the novel Kesey has written. Not only does it chart the course for rebellion within the storyline, but it also brings the reader to doubt everything that Bromden has described prior to this moment. The mere mention of his loss of control over his actions or inactions within the illusionary setting of the novel brings the reader to ponder their relationship with delusion and perception.

In particular, I found this moment in the story incredibly eye-opening. So much so, I will use it as a springboard to speak about the landscape of my own mind; and how my understanding of delusion, perception, and societal pressure evolved.

Reflecting on Bromdens hallucinations and struggle with control over himself, I could not help but be reminded of societal pressure which is even more accentuated today than ever before thanks to social media. Due to technological advancements, nearly everything that is intellectual or non-physical—like emotion—has been inflated with far more importance placed on it than in past times. Much like Bromden’s hallucinations with wires and machinery controlling him, I now reflect on how this once laughable delusion has become a reality. Ken Kesey just opened my eyes from the 1960s.

Sophia Washington made an astute observation about the controlling and bland environment of the Ward stating, “It’s like a brainwashing system,” in a recent Fishbowl discussion. Yet, although she was speaking about the constant playing of the same music in the Ward—which led to patients not realizing music was even playing after a while—I cannot help but find this statement more directly relates to our real world. Much like Bromden’s belief in “machinery” controlling his actions, societal norms can be interpreted as this constant buzzing of music mentioned in Sophia’s observation. Societal norms and expectations can create an invisible web that influences decisions and self-perception. For example, there have been times in my life when I felt compelled to conform to societal standards and expectations, even when they conflicted with my true self. When I was a kindergartener first learning to write, I found it much more comfortable to write with my left hand, unlike many other peers who were right-hand dominant. Due to increasing social pressure from my peers, I gave into the societal norms around me and never used my left hand again. My thoughts were filled with negative connotations about writing with my left hand. After reading this scene, I was led to recognize these external influences and assess how they affect my thoughts and actions moving forward.

This moment has encouraged and enriched me to be more mindful of the “wires” that reach out to pressure and control me and other people. Whether they stem from cultural norms, peer pressure, or media portrayals, Ken Kesey has instilled in me, much like many others, to strive to be more authentic. To not be controlled by “machines.”

De’Naiza Watson 11/22/2024 Pahomov College English

After Harding had stopped his rant, it became quiet. Eerily quiet. Almost as if a pin could drop and even the Big Nurse could hear it from wherever she was.

Then McMurphy spoke, softer than normal,

“ Are you guys bullshitting me?’, then it got louder.

“Are you guys bullshitting me!”, then it got quiet again.

Then he paced, up and down, back and forth, before he came and stopped near me. I felt his presence before I saw him. My back turned away from everyone else. My back was turned, but I was listening.

I was waiting for it, anticipating it.

I listened as he went on. Speaking, shouting, outraged.

“ You Billy – you must be committed for Christakes!”

“No”, I answered, still not facing the group.

“ You oughta be out running around in a convertible, bird doggin girls. Why do you stand for it?”

He quickly moved on from me. I was no longer interested in the machinery before me, with my back turnt, I listened.

“You could get along outside if you had the guts”, Murphy said aloud again, throughout his entire rant that is the moment that struck me, that’s what stood out.

Guts, if I had the guts. In that moment I can’t recall if I had felt angry, or if I had afterall been sad. Before I even realized, I turned around.

“ Sure!”, I yell the first time. The words came out louder than I had anticipated.

“ Sure” I shout a second.

That’s it, I remember now, I remember how I’d felt. I was angry. Not just at McMurphy, but at myself. If I had the guts. I wouldn’t be here. If I had the guts, who knows what I’d be doing right now.

“If we had the g-guts! I could go outside t-today, if I had the guts. My m-m-mother is a good friend of M-Miss Ratched, and I could get an AMA signed this afternoon, if I had the guts!”

Then I remember I got really angry. I got up and grabbed my shirt, I wanted to leave right now. I could show McMurphy I had guts. But then, I turned around again.

“You think I wuh-wuh-wuh-want to stay in here? You think I wouldn’t like a con-con-vertible and a guh-guh-girl friend? But did you ever have people l-l-laughing at you? No, because you’re so b-big and so tough! Well, I’m not big and tough. Neither is Harding. Neither is F-Fredrickson. Neither is Suh-Sefelt. Oh - oh, you - you t-talk like we stayed in here because we liked it! Oh - it’s n-no use …”

I wanted to keep going, I wanted to keep talking, but then my anger turned to sadness. I went, turned to run, then I don’t really remember much of what happened after that.

It’s silly to me, because on paper I’m normal. As I sit and write to you. You’d have no idea what was wrong with me.I aint deaf like Broom, I dont got any weird thoughts in my head.I envy McMurphy, not for the reason everyone else thinks. He’s got a confidence about him that separates him from us. Maybe if I had the guts, nobody would know what’s wrong with me.

If I had the guts.

Reflection: The stylistic choice I chose to make during my writing was to have Billy Bibbit narrate a scene where he got emotional. I chose to focus on Billy intellectually instead of Billy socially. There’s nothing serious that separates Billy from a normal person besides his stutter, and his childlike appearance. He’s consciously thinking, and he’s consciously making choices and decisions like an adult would. He’s not behind. In those scenes, having it narrated from Bromden’s perspective doesn’t help show a lot of the big emotions that can come with the scenario. Especially in Billys case. Billy has a severe stutter, and as someone with a stutter, it’s something I could relate to on a personal level. People working through stutters or having them doesn’t make them lesser in the brain department and that’s a point I wanted to get across by Billy breaking down scenarios in order to better understand between character and reader.