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Advanced Essay #1: Andrew Rodebaugh

Posted by Andrew Rodebaugh in English 3 · Block · E Band on

Introduction:


For my paper I was talking about a scary situation that I was going through this year. I was trying to communicate the fear that me and my family had when dealing with this situation. I hope I was a little funny also in my essay. I think I could have improved on describing a little more like Harlem and Boubou did in their essays.


Essay:


My life is pretty normal… well compared to most people like me. See I have a heart condition a super rare and dangerous one (not to brag). It is kind of complicated to explain but in basic terms, my heart does not include a left ventricle. As you may assume that’s not very good, to say the least. The doctors had to make my right ventricle of my heart to do the jobs of my lazy, non-existent left ventricle which takes more energy and in turn has its own set of problems. Sure I cannot walk up the stairs without wearing out (stairs are tough... don’t judge) and thank God I hate sports because that just does not work out well with me and my heart. But I am rarely unable to do what I want to do which makes me feel really lucky.


   It was not until very recently that I had a problem that was long term that I had to worry about a health problem. See what happened was that I was at my Church’s Bible Study™ with my older brother Will and we were talking and having a lovely time until suddenly my left foot started to shake uncontrollably… up and down… up and down. I had no clue what was going on… my first thought was that either I did not hydrate well enough which was the cause of 99.9% of my issues so I politely asked my brother if he could grab me some water and to text my Mom that this was happening. I tried to do this trying not to cause a big deal out of it. They knew me all my life and they have seen/helped me through this situation so I probably should have informed them that this was happening but of course I would have never guessed how long term this would be. Well, my Dad came to pick me up and he noticed that my leg was shaking so he called Mom to see what we should do. We ended up going home which did not last long so I went to the Emergency Room at around 11 pm (I know thrilling) and stayed at the hospital overnight. That night answered nothing… very encouraging to me.


   The shaking happened almost once a month and before it happens I would get super angry and I would not be myself. I would have a low tolerance for even the smallest things, yelling and stomping. And talk a little too much being honest to people about the things that I was annoyed about relating to them or that moment, in turn, making them really upset with me. And sometimes I would just shut down not being able to respond to other people. I was sent to the ambulance for the first time ever with my blood sugar very low which was the first of many false triggers to what supposedly caused these incidents which were annoying going from specialist to specialist not really listening to me. My fear got even greater about what was going on.


Fear is a weird thing it can keep us alert or shut us down. Make us appreciate things more or make us angry. It can make us faster or slow us down. Fear can be made up or be real. Fear can be exaggerated or not exaggerated enough. It depends on who you are and what is going on. I had a lot of scary situations in my life for me and my parents which they had helped me in life learning more about myself but hurt me at least temporary. This situation was it was a scary situation that I did not know what would happen to me and how serious it would it be.


Now the shaking has died down and I am not as scared as I was before. I stopped being constantly angry at people because I know that they are just trying to help me through life with these situations going on. They still have not figured out why the problems were occurring and may never know. But I feel safe now knowing that people around me will do anything to help me.


Advanced Essay #1: Sleep tight

Posted by Rebecca Snyder in English 3 · Block · E Band on

Introduction: Sleep tight touches on the ideas surrounding childhood. This piece is meant to make the reader think about changing perspectives through growing up and the things that alter excitement. This idea came from writings of scenes from life, where I instantly started to think about the things that made up my childhood experience. The two scenes that were chosen were some of the immediate scenes I thought about with how adults comfort us, and then the change to where we need the comfort of adults to decimate self consciousness. I’m proud of how the scenes loosely connect to the theme I was trying to build in abstract ways that make the reader think. As far as areas for improvement, I wish I could’ve gotten my ideas out more clearly in the conclusion to fully make the theme translate to the reader.


Sleep tight

I woke up christmas morning of first grade and snuck down the stairs at 6AM. I carefully took each step in order to not cause a creak, which would wake up my parents. With a thump, I saw my brothers curls peak through the darkness. A light flashed as my brother turned on his little blue flashlight to reveal the outline of everything in the living room. He scanned the room with his light and stopped in the center. The line of light revealed the wooden toy market that was at the top of my wishlist. I couldn’t help but let out a screech. We scurried over to the market, pulling out the small green containers in the front where toy food would sit.

“Where’s the food?” asked my brother.

“Flash it towards the back,” I replied.

My brother flashed the light on the back of the market to reveal boxes full of toy food. We immediately unpacked the boxes and poured them into the green containers. For the next hour we played with the wooden food kits that velcro together and cut apart.

A nice toy food breakfast was prepared for our parents. Soon after, my mom walked slowly down the stairs just having woken up.

“What are you guys doing up so early? And already opening your presents?” she asked.

“Mama we made you breakfast!” I gave her a smile that filled my face.

“Oh hunny thank you.” She responded as she pretended to gobble up what we had prepared.

I was so excited that my mom had enjoyed what we made for her. The simple childhood innocence of the belief that she would always be happy with our play, when as I look back I see the how adults play along with the innocent fun. In reality, she would never act like she disliked what we had made. As more growth occurred this innocence grew up into more self consciousness and inability to enjoy as many of the smaller things.

My mom walked to the left corner of my room and switched the light off. She then walked towards my bed and pulled the sheets to my shoulders, kissed me goodnight, and said,

“Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

“But Mama what if they do bite?”

“Then you call me up and I will scare them away.”

“Okay, stay outside my room until you see that I fell asleep,” I

replied in fear that my mother would leave me alone before I fell asleep.

I felt my eyes getting heavy and my body start to relax. As soon as my eyes fully shut, my anxiety set it and I shot straight up from my bed.

“Mom!”

I heard her voice lightly assure me that she was still there. Then I could relax and rest again. As soon as my eyes fell heavy and closed again, I heard the hallway light switch off. My body jolted up once again,

“MOM.”

Her voice arose again and assured me of her presence. At this point I was so tired my body fell right back into to my bed. Once again, my eyes fell heavy and this time stayed shut through the night.

This feeling of fear in falling asleep alone lasted until 5th grade, when I finally realized my mother would never leave me alone in the house and that she couldn’t scare away the bed bugs any more than I could. My anxiety surrounded the innocence of not wanting to be left alone because I wasn’t big enough to fight whatever might come in during my sleep. This fear was influenced by more self consciousness as I had grown up from the cloud of enjoying every small event.

Childhood, comfort, innocence, growth, all often come together. New experiences for a child enable growth out of comfort. As a child grows, they often embrace it as “I’m a big kid.” This growth decimates the innocence. The innocence we as older people often long for. The innocence that enables enjoyment in all of the little things we still wish we could enjoy. The ability to be free with comfort and others are elements of childhood that we look back on and question the ability to receive again. The ability to be free and comfortable with ourselves is an ability few possess past childhood.  This is the comfort of childhood, where your ideas and actions are always sweet, and not an annoyance. This comfort doesn’t grow until our ideas could be shot down. The ability to look past self consciousness and into self comfort is an ability many of us wish we continued to possess. It’s an ability I wish to still posses.


Advanced Essay #1: Pittsburgh Vacation

Posted by Alex Lee Chan in English 3 · Block · E Band on

​Introduction: My goal of the paper is to write more than I usually do, the part that I am proud of is the third paragraph, the areas for improvement in the future is the reflection.

Pittsburgh Vacation

This past  summer, I went on a trip to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is also a city in the state of pennsylvania located just west of Philadelphia.This trip was a summer camp which focused on giving the campers an introduction to civil engineering as I have an interest in this area. 

I received the information about this camp from my ILP program. After finding out more information about the camp and the program, I told my mother about my interest in this program and how I wanted to participate. My mom was very happy that I wanted to join the summer camp in Pittsburgh because she wanted to go to Pittsburgh for a long time.  My brother was also interested in the program too. After speaking to her, she gave her permission for me to register for the camp. We decided we would go to Pittsburgh together. My big brother would go with us as well.

The camp that I joined in Pittsburgh was about a famous architectural building called “Fallingwater”. Fallingwater is a house that was designed in 1935 by an architect named Frank Lloyd Wright. It was designed in the modern and organic architectural style.Fallingwater is surrounded by a forest with a river going under the house. The house was built with no air conditioning, but it had an opening to the river under the house that was used to let the natural wind come into the house. The most different thing between Fallingwater and American houses are the windows. The windows in Fallingwater are much bigger than the normal American house. Fallingwater makes you want to go outside rather than stay in the house because of the beauty that surrounds the house.

The summer camp was 7 days long. We planned to arrive at the Pittsburgh three days before the start of summer camp. We arrived early to allow us to explore this new place. We traveled there by Greyhound bus and it took approximately 51/2 to get to our destination. The bus experience went well until one of the windows in the bus broke, but we still arrived to our destination safety. After we arrived, we took another bus to get to the house we would stay for three days. We then went to the nearest store to buy food for dinner and came back. The second day, we went to The Andy Warhol Museum, and to a restaurant to eat our lunch. After lunch, we went back and wait for next day.

The first day that summer camp started, one of the teachers picked us up drove us to Fallingwater. It took 1 hour to from the place we were staying in Pittsburgh to get to Fallingwater. After we arrived, my mom joined a tour to Fallingwater and  after the tour she went back to the place she was staying. Then I went to the meeting place for the summer camp, which was High Meadow, our living place in the summer camp.  The first day of the camp, we introduced ourselves to each other.   All of the students were in grades 10 to 12 grade.  At Fallingwater we draw some scenes with all of our 5 senses. We drew a scene outside the Fallingwater and one in the inside. The outside scene is a road that was covered with green plants on two sides.  The inside one that I drew is of a living room inside of  Fallingwater. After we finished drawing, the sky was turning dark, so we went back to the High Meadow to have our dinner.

On the second day, we went to a workshop which is near the High Meadow to make glasses. We needed to make the glasses using paper. The teacher taught us to sketch before you started making any item. The glasses that I made was a pixel MLG glasses, was based on a video game. Then we went back to Fallingwater once again to draw the outside of the Fallingwater right after our lunch. Since this is a civil engineering summer camp, it will involve a lot of drawing, especially drawing architecture. After that, we had an activity where we needed to make a shelter for an 1 inch big bear figure in the area of the road that I drew in the first day that can protect from other animals. We only got 1 jund of sticky, and you could get material around us like leafs, sticks, rocks… so I built a shelter in the middle of two big two rocks, I use some stick to hold in the under of the house.

On the third day, we went to Norman Robert Foster’s 1900s living place where it has become a museum, Norman Robert Foster is the person who designed the HSBC Building.  We had a tour guide who explained everything about the house. After that we headed outside. It was an open place where we needed to draw again. We stayed there almost the whole day.

In the fourth day, we started at some paperwork, we needed to draw and measure some square-based 3-D shape, the teacher taught us how to drew it in 2D and 3D in the paper. Then we drew a fruit that chosen by teacher and I got a pepper, we needed to drew the top, the side and the cutted side after our lunch. After the dinner, we went back to Fallingwater to got an idea in there for making the concrete in the next day.

In the fifth day, we made our own concrete the whole day, every persons’ concrete was in a cuboid shape, so my design was making a square hole in one of the corner of the cuboid and in the middle of every square hole, there had a cuboid column in it. It liked making the concrete by your own.

In the last two days we had a project that we redesigned an small open area to a photostopping spot that it can take in the rainy and snowy day, it’s like a small shelter, my design was making a 45 degree ceiling to let the rain pour it in one way and four cuboid column in each corner of the ceiling, we have the time for design is a whole day. Then we presented the whole summer camp in your own work and experience with all your assignment to the director of Fallingwater.

After the summer camp, my big brother and I took greyhound bus back to philadelphia and go back home. I have a really good experience in this summer camp, because engineering is my favourite things and the experience in the summer camp, it will be useful for my future.

Advanced Essay #1: The Fall of a Giant

Posted by Messele Asfaw in English 3 · Block · E Band on

  My goals for this paper are that people read this and go, "wow that taught me something interesting." I want the reader to feel as if they learned something from reading this essay. I feel as if the parts that I think will achieve this, and the parts that I am proud of are the description part. The description part and the story part compliment each other part. However, regarding the reflection part of this essay, I don't feel like I did too well on. This is because I always had the thought that the reflection was up to the reader to interpret, and I think that made me less interested in writing that part.

Falling down from what seemed like an immeasurable height. It seemed like the end for me. This would ruin my whole day. Gravity was David and I was Goliath. So you’re probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well it all started in the autumn of ‘17.

“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” said my alarm clock. This morning was as ordinary as every other morning this week. The early morning sunlight creeped through the windows in my room enveloped by darkness. It was nearing my favorite time of year. Winter. It was still autumn however, meaning it got dark early and late in the day, but it was also hot and when it rained, it was humid. Disgusting. I hated that feeling when it rained and it was hot. That’s why I’m more of an inside person. Inside, you didn’t have to worry about dying because there are less things that could kill you. You didn’t have to worry about weather because you were constantly incubated inside of an air conditioned or heated house.

The contents of my room rarely changed. A mahogany wardrobe that held almost all my clothes. A bookshelf with 5 shelves full of books, all of which I’ve read. A wooden desk which I’m pretty sure was made of fake wood, and on top of that, a computer. Oh, and of course my bed which I was sleeping on. I had a very comfortable bed, to say the least. My bed sheets were made of a material which I did not know about, so I cannot brag about how good it is. It was very soft however. This made it difficult to get up out of bed, and often times I would stay in bed for an extra 10-15 minutes. To combat this, instead of waking up at 6 in the morning, I woke up at around 5:45. The top most bedsheet was just a blanket, with a giant bear on it. Sort of like a portrait of a bear, but it looked directly at you. I called it the bear blanket. The bear blanket was a gift, and a curse.

“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” exclaimed my alarm clock, yet again. At this point in time, I had decided that I would wake up and stop being a lazy bag of meat. I went through my usual morning ritual of taking a shower, brushing my teeth, making my bed, and of course, wearing clothes. As I recheck everything I need for school for that day, I start to zip up my plain white book bag. I go downstairs and start my trek through the front door. One foot steps forward. Another follows in it’s wake. My calculations were wrong. My footing was off, and one of my feet slipped forward in front of me.

“Oh golly, oh my!” I thought to myself, in the short time I had. I was now falling. I tried grabbing for anything around me to stop me from falling, but the snowy white railing was not doing it’s job. Or at least I didn’t grip it hard enough. Falling down from what seemed like an immeasurable height. It seemed like the end for me. This would ruin my whole day. Gravity was David and I was Goliath. Goodbye cruel world. I fell about 2 steps and cried for the rest of the way on the trolley to school. That day I failed my math test.

The importance of what happens to you during the day is honestly one of the most significant things that can influence your decisions during the day. In this current story, the main character goes throughout his day and one fatal event affects his day. The main idea of this story is that whatever influences a person to make a certain decision can have many factors. Meaning there could be a lot of factors and you shouldn’t really jump to conclusions as to why they made a decision. The main character fell down the stairs and this influenced the main characters choices that they made on the math test. As a result, the main character failed his math test. This whole story could be perceived as an allegory representing how people assume other people’s intentions without taking into account other factors. Factors like their personal lives, struggles, and experiences. Those factors and more are what really influence a person’s decisions throughout the day and the choices that they make.


Advanced Essay #1: Can we really help someone who is in pain?

Posted by Vivian Pham in English 3 · Block · E Band on

Introduction:

Goals that I had for my paper was to really be able to include all the components into my story effectively and evenly. And to have a balance of everything, the descriptive scenes, reflection, and large idea. I think that parts that I am most proud of would be the whole process of editing and revising my essay. It really changed the whole flow of my essay from the beginning and I think that the improvements that I made, really helped convey my message. Some areas for improvement for the future would have to be to decrease the amount of words that I wrote. I wrote a lot and at first I had 2000 words and I erased and changed it until 1000 and even though it’s way more than the maximum, I still need to improve on this.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t do anything right. Being silent and listening was all that I could ever do. The pain ached from the inside and out, puncturing holes into my heart. The feeling of remorse and sorrow poured out of my body out in the form of tears. I remember that heartstopping moment, it felt like my whole world was getting flipped and tossed around.

I was in history class when I got the text from my best friend, Michelle.

“I can’t stop shaking.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”  I started typing at soaring speed.

“I can’t talk right now.” She texted back.

But I was persistent on getting a response. As time passed, I felt myself sink down lower into my seat.

My thoughts started a violent and gory war in my head, the sword were her words that cut me and the blood were the tears that followed. My eyes stayed glued to my phone.

My friends noticed how I was behaving. They fed me the words that were meant to comfort. I could see the disappointment on their faces when I would look up and ignore them.

“Tell us what’s wrong,”

“What happened?”

“Please tell us.”

Their words went in through one ear and out through the other. I sat there with my thoughts, what should I do if it’s something bad? Am I really her best friend if I can’t help her? I saw my phone flickered on.

“My baby cousin…. my mom called me,” She paused between texts,“H- he’s dead...”

I felt my whole body slowly close in on itself. My jaw dropped and the tears followed and fell down my face with no control. I ran out the door of my class and straight into the bathroom.

I called her and she picked up right away.

“Michelle… Are you okay? I  am so so sorry. How did it happen?” I said, as I thought to myself, should I have not asked how it happened?

“I can’t do this right now.” She said, I could hear that she was crying uncontrollably.

I heard knocks on the bathroom door knowing that it was my friends that ran after me. They were calling my name and telling me to come out. But I ignored them once again.

I knew that whatever I would say to her right now wouldn’t be helpful. It would just be a bunch of words that mean nothing. I gave her as much time as she needed to explain everything. As I sat on the window sill, listening to my best friend and crying.

She was feeling useless as much as I was. Feeling powerless to do anything to help destroys and destructs you from inside out. You feel this automatic anger and hate yourself because you’re not doing your best. You start to shut out everyone who cares about you and start to isolate yourself from who is “trying to help.” The worst part is not understanding and lying. Simply saying the words, “I understand what you’re going through,” can deepen the pain and agony of the person even more. They know that you don’t understand and you’re left with no other option. Can anyone really ever help anyone that is suffering?

No matter what age I was, I found myself in these moments. As a young girl, I wasn’t aware of everything happening around me but I noticed when someone looked upset, or  looked like they were in pain. Like in the sixth grade with my bestfriend, Lyna.

I’ve only known her for 2 years back then, but I knew that the second I met her, she would be one of those friends that I would grow old with. We made plans to be roommates in college together, to share every detail of each other’s lives together, and to dance until we can’t anymore. This seemed like the year where everything would start changing. In the eyes of Lyna, it was a different change, the type that would change her life forever and she wasn’t ready for it.

“I think they’re separating.” Lyna said one day when she walked up to me during breakfast.

“Separating what?” I said, completely clueless.

“Mom and dad. They’re not happy.” She said looking around, hoping no one else was listening.

Not happy? I would think to myself, I’ve never heard of a separation of parents or loved ones, aside from the movies. My mind was glued to the idea that families stick together and love each other endlessly no matter what. “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..” I truly believed that this was always the case. I told her that her parents love each other very much and nothing will happen. But who was I to tell her that it was going to be okay when I didn't even know myself?

“They aren't the same. They're fighting every single day.” She said to me, as a single tear would run down her face.

“But that doesn't mean anything does it? Parents always fight.” I said with a hopeful tone.

She looked away, disappointed and said with her head down,

“You won't understand anyway. Your family is perfect.”

Perfect? What am I supposed to do with that? My family for one is not perfect. I told her the words that I regretted the second I said it.

“I don’t know what to say.”

Almost everyday, Lyna would come up to me in school with an update about her parents. I would listen but not understand, yet I still tried to. This went on for a few more years until it finally happened, the fear that she grew up with, the nightmares that she wished never came true, did. She was my best friend, she couldn’t do this alone, and she wasn’t alone. Although I thought that all this time, I wasn’t helping, I was wrong. The attempt of trying to help and comfort goes a long way. Having the intentions of extending out a helping hand, the act of doing so makes all the difference. You can never fully cure that damage within but you can apply the bandage and cure it slowly.


Advanced Essay #1: Then To Now

Posted by William Huang in English 3 · Block · E Band on

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Introduction:



Then To Now is a story about growing up and making sacrifices. Human nature dictates that people tend to stay with what is known, because they are more familiar and comfortable with the subjects. The purpose of this essay is to show the reader that they are not alone when it comes to making difficult decisions in life. However, these difficult decisions are the most impactful ones, and those who choose to venture into places that few have gone end up accomplishing things that a few have done. I’m proud the scenes I chose and how I made connections between two seemingly unrelated stories. Some areas of improvement are including more description in my scenes and also have more reflection throughout the piece.


Advanced Essay:


The acceptance results were in, and it was time to pick a high school. Everyone else seemed to have chosen their picks, and the deadline was the end of the day. I remember it was a chilly fall day, only weeks into my 8th grade year. 7th grade me feared the prospect of making this decision, but I convinced myself that one year was a long way to go. But before I knew it, there was nowhere left to hide.

The day started with Mr. O’s math class. We all shuffled into class with our belongings, and settled in our seats. As I went to turn in my homework, my friend Xu stopped me and asked if I had chosen my high school. I lied and sat down. When the lesson was over, Mr. O gave us independent work time, and that was when he received a phone call from our school counselor. He then turned to look at me, and signaled me to go to him. “What’s holding you up from deciding on your school?” he asked. I thought for a moment. “I’m just stuck between Central and SLA,” I told him. I knew most of my friends were going to Central High School. I didn’t want to be separated from them, but at the same time, I didn’t feel like just following the crowd. “Here’s my two-cents,” Mr. O began, “Think about like this: If you go to Central, you will be around this same group of people you have always been with for four more years, and will remain relatively the same. But if you go to SLA, you will be forced to meet new people and learn, grow, and change.”

I took his words to heart. On the outside, Mr. O may just be a math teacher, but he often shared his life experiences with us and taught us how to be better people. I had the utmost respect for him, and his words were the final push I needed to make up my mind. This engagement with him reminded me of  immigration stories my parents told me when I was younger.

I would be in my room, laying in bed while they sat beside me. My parents were born on poor farms in rural China. In that place and time, everyone had to be self-dependent: people grew their own food, built their own houses, and made their own clothes. The country was poor and they were at the bottom of the social class. My dad told me his strife: how he started taking care of my uncles when he was only 5, had two shirts to wear every year, and even a single bite of meat was rare during meals. When my dad was 25, he decided to immigrate to the US for financial stability to support his family and to provide more opportunities for his children. The Chinese government did not allow immigration to the US, which forced him to risk his life making arrangements with criminal organizations to be smuggled into the US, carrying a debt of $30,000.

It took me many years to make the connection between these two seemingly unrelated episodes of my life. But in many ways, they are two versions of one story—a story of delayed gratification where you make short term sacrifices to reap long term rewards. Just like my dad, I had to make a tough decision in a high pressure situation, and the choice we made would dramatically impact our lives thereafter. I had to choose between staying in my comfort zone where I would continue to be with my friends, or I could venture alone into uncertainty. My dad had to choose between staying with my family back in China, forever having his bloodline chained to poverty and being uneducated, or travel into a land of an unknown language and culture. In the end, I chose SLA. My dad, despite all risks and the idea of traveling so far away from everything he has known and grew up with, made the decision to immigrate. Had I not decided to go to SLA, I would have never realized who my real friends are, never made all the great friends I have today, and never came out of my comfort zone. I would forever remain that introverted boy who would always head straight home after school and play videogames on his own. Had my dad decided not to immigrate to the US, I would not be who I am today. I would never have understood the value of education, the struggles of my family lineage, or been born in a country with far more opportunities and freedom. As the saying goes, “Like father, like son,” we were able to lift ourselves out of our comfort zones to see the long term rewards that a short term sacrifice would bring, and we have never looked back since. Life is not about where you are, but where you take yourself, and if you never venture into the unknown, you will never get more than what you already have.


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2017-18

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