Living in a society where violence is accepted, to what degree, mentally, can violence be justified for the better even when you are the doer?

Militarism and Violence  have held a critical device that shaped us into the people we raise today.  Dating back to the biblical ages with David and Goliath and the drowning of Pharaoh's Army, the interrelation of militarism and violence have been a widely accepted motive. It is the key to survival that involve strategies even God himself has used. With this information, I found my next question. How can humans live in society without the use of violence or some form of militarism? The answer being that we can’t. It’s our foundation and what helps keep the world spinning. It is  okay to learn about violence.  By  accepting it , we are able to  determine if violence should actually be reflected upon as a negative tool. I revisited many  articles, in search of perspective of war veterans and children. I figured that veterans come home to expect there to be an uproar of violence while  children are viewed as soldiers who need to be against violence but enjoy it at the same time because implementing it is a great way to blow off steam. It amazes me how contradicting and framed mentally a society as one can think. It can’t be widely accepted for veterans of all ages to be treated with a superb lenses because of their violence by entertainment and smiles. Children who produces violence are only widely accepted when it’s either done in the dark or for the benefits of the great U.S.A.

Young minds can blossom like a butterfly when manipulated.  This is a highly shared  thought between older beings when it come to the youth. The military has enforced propaganda on students to join the fight. At a very young age, I felt that violence was accepted because the schools allowed the army to come in and give us the cool key chains and posters that were dedicated to joining the fight. I’m referring to fight as the war against terror and protecting this country. It is an honor to sign your life over at 18 and fight in a war without knowing exactly why we're fighting  in the war. The lack of knowledge could be a reason for why so many veterans are scared mentally because they would not know what they are getting themselves into. This robe of honor that we give the army sergeants who promote the fight  has turned them into people  not being obligated to share the gruesome details involving the fight. The same obligation we force on the young minds to share every piece of action that happen when they got into a fight over a disagreement. In an interview titled Forced to Fight, Charbonneau explicitly gave  his opinion through an adult perspective by saying “These children live in constant fear of being killed by the troops if they don't obey. Many of them are being tortured and raped. "Unfortunately there are 'advantages' to using children for armed groups: Children are cheap fighters and easy to manipulate. They are often drugged and indoctrinated with propaganda and movies before they are sent out to fulfill their missions The psychodynamics of the TV cartoon or comic book are marvelously simple: children identify with the good guy so that they can think of themselves as good. This enables them to project onto the bad guy their own repressed anger, violence, rebelliousness, or lust and then vicariously to enjoy their own evil by watching the bad guy initially prevail.” The merriam dictionary definition of violence is an intense, turbulent, or furious and often destructive action or force. A children’s cartoon expose a hidden truth insides each human. We are all violent by nature. There is negative energy that we all bound up because we don’t want to create violence but have no problem forcing that same energy on someone we feel deserves it.

In order to enjoy being the creator of violence, you will have to believe that you are right. When Justifying a force of violence on someone, the defense story comes up. You want to propose to the witnesses that you were defending yourself or someone else. Though you smiled or cheered because you had the upper hand, we try to forgive ourselves because we hate the feeling of guilt. Not every situation is avoidable and violence can never be justified. However, observing this idea through the lenses of  a soldier, justifying violence can be a coping mechanism in the conscious. In war, soldiers are the suspect, victim, and witness of violence. With a gun in their hands and a big playfield to damage up, the feeling of sympathy for other humans are quickly non existent. Instead, the battlefield becomes an illusion of the mind where every one is the target and as long as there are sounds of screaming and bullets, violence is in the air. In the soldier mind, killing the enemy is the only way to suck the violence out of the air. Though it may sound horrible from the outside looking in, soldiers are taking their repressed negative energies out on the battlefield. The same way children compare themselves to the good superhero and enforce their own repressed violence on the bad guy. In both scenarios, the doer is responding in violence with the help of personal issues.

Militarism and violence should never be enjoyed. We can’t enforce violence with our own personal repression or militarize someone else because they are easy to manipulate. This is what leads to the decline of governments and start of an barbaric nature, both interior and exterior. For a change in society, we must acknowledge the fact that violence and militarism will always be a necessity. We can't go against it or be patriots of its actions. Treat both actions as sentimental principles instead or ways to protect the alpha status. Violence is not something that needs justification when being used in an militarism culture.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

• Wink, Walter. The powers that be: theology for a new millennium. New York: Galilee Doubleday, 1999.

• "January 31, 2003 ~ Interview: Chris Hedges." PBS. May 10, 2013. Accessed March 23, 2017. http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/2003/01/31/january-31-2003-interview-chris-hedges/13987/.

• Rollens, Sarah. "Violence in the Bible: Greatest Hits." The Huffington Post. December 26, 2016. Accessed March 23, 2017. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/violence-in-the-bible-greatest-hits_us_5861bd66e4b068764965be0a.

• "January 31, 2003 ~ Interview: Chris Hedges." PBS. May 10, 2013. Accessed March 23, 2017. http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/2003/01/31/january-31-2003-interview-chris-hedges/13987/.

Nisa Hardin

Advanced essay no. 4

Zero tolerance for the “zero-tolerance policies”

Other than major budget cuts, underfunding and suffering from government ignorance, a majority of inner-city schools across the U.S deal with the growing issue that follows zero-tolerance policies. Ever since a surge in violence and theft within schools before the 1980’s, schools across the nation have made it their top priority to completely divest acts of violence, truancy and general misbehaviour. The differences between then and now, though, are almost too drastic to be comparable. The first and most outstanding thing would have to be the “War on drugs” that Reagan created, which pushed drugs to inner city black and hispanic communities to incarcerate their population as a tactic to suppress the civil rights movement; in turn causing the impressionable public to demonize and alienate the black community and its culture. With significantly diminished property values and quality of life due to open-air drug markets, drug-related murders and numerous home invasion robberies, many communities residing within the inner city were figuratively and in some cases literally left for dead. Too add to the damage, Zero-tolerance policies were created and implemented within the majority of U.S schools.

To this day, research has not been able to report improvements subsequent to the placement of these regulations. Often what happens is that students are penalized to the fullest extent for things that one would think only called for a slap on the hand, but because this isn’t the case many student careers are often thrown away, regardless of the state of their records; more specifically those affected are mainly minorities and students with disabilities. Statistics show that 40% of students expelled from U.S schools each year are black, 70% of school related arrests are black and latino, 25% of minorities are incarcerated within a couple years after they’re 18. Jose Gallego shared his story in an interview about school-to-prison pipelines, illustrating the slippery slope that often follows the penalties of violating zero-tolerance policies: “I’m a highschool dropout. I was supposed to graduate in 2008, but I missed a few days of school because my parents were going through a hard time. They kicked me out of school. So, then I started selling CD’s downtown. I was arrested for selling CD’s, i was locked up, and I got out with a whole different perspective. I had never been in juvenile detention before. I didn’t know what to do. I started selling drugs. Now I am lost. I’ve got a little brother and little sister, they don’t look up to me anymore. I’m a two time convicted felon. It is hard for me to get a job.”

My middle school experience somewhat reflected the zero-tolerance policies unto its students, but fortunately I wasn’t heavily impacted by the consequences that followed the petty and excessive amount of rules that if not followed could jeopardize a student’s access to education. For example though, one of the rules that I will never understand to this day is uniform. To emphasize how seriously staff took wearing the navy blue polo and khaki pants, I’d compare it to the dress codes at SLA. Students are allowed to wear nearly whatever they please so long as it doesn’t reveal entirely too much or suggest something negative or offensive to others. Even when there are incidents where a student may violate these rules, the most they are asked to do is refrain from wearing that item of clothing in the future. At my middle school, Teachers would patrol the halls at exactly 8:40 each morning to examine the uniforms of each student. Wearing any shade of blue other than navy, gym clothes on a non-gym day, or head wear that wasn’t khaki or navy blue were grounds for an unopposable early dismissal or in some cases immediate suspension. The average number of students pulled out of class and taken to the office a day were three or four, and that was just in my grade group.

This, in contrast to the extremely strict zero-tolerance policies in other districts, is virtually nothing. The school-to-prison pipeline is really a classroom-to-prison pipeline. A student’s trajectory to a criminalized life often begins with an unfair curriculum that disrespects children’s lives and that does not center on things that matter. Nearly two decades of a "zero tolerance" mentality has contributed dramatically to a spike in exclusionary discipline that involves racial disparities, and if you ask me all of it seems just a bit too strategic.

Bibliography…

Giroux, Henry. "Racial Injustice and Disposable Youth in the Age of Zero Tolerance."International Journal of Qualitative Studies in Education. Taylor and Francis Online, 25 Nov. 2010. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.

Norm Stamper / AlterNet. "5 Surprising Consequences of the War on Drugs." Alternet. N.p., 06 Sept. 2012. Web. 19 Mar. 2017.

Buggs, Innis. "Innis Buggs." Politic365. N.p., 15 Dec. 2012. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.

Fuentes, Annette. "Preview of Article:." Rethinking Schools Online. Rethinking Schools, n.d. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.

America makes up 5% of the world’s total population, and 25% of the world’s incarcerated people. With over 2.2 million people imprisoned, it's hard not to wonder how we got to this stage. How did a country that makes up such a small portion of the world, become the producer of over 1/4th of our people’s incarcerated people? Until the 1970s, America’s incarcerated citizens rate was fairly stable throughout the years. What we see today, is a direct result of some harmful policies put together in the 20th century, that Americans are still suffering under today. These policies that we see have been enacted have furthered our problems with imprisonment in modern society.

The 1970s gave birth to what is commonly referred to in mass media as the War on Drugs. This is commonly recognized as when we as a government stopped treating drug addiction as a health issue and started to treat it as a crime issue. Thus, the Comprehensive Drug Abuse Prevention and Control Act was born. This act ultimately shaped what drugs were considered controlled substances, substances that weren’t, and instilled heavy burdens on those who did not abide by these strict ordinances. According to this act a person found possessing “less than 50 kilograms of marihuana, except in the case of 50 or more marihuana plants regardless of weight, 10 kilograms of hashish, or one kilogram of hashish oil, such person shall…  be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of not more than 5 years, a fine not to exceed the greater of that authorized in accordance with the provisions of title 18, United States Code, or $250,000 if the defendant is an individual or $1,000,000 if the defendant is other than an individual, or both. If any person commits such a violation after a prior conviction for a felony drug offense has become final, such person shall be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of not more than 10 years.” In 1970 the number of incarcerated citizens was 357,292. In 1980, that number was 513,900. In just ten years, we had amassed over 200,000 more prisoners at the start of the War on Drugs. However, the incarceration rate didn’t slow down there.

The Ronald Reagan Era introduced mandatory minimum sentencing. By doing this, Reagan introduced harmful sentences for harsh drugs. As we see now, marijuana has proven in recent years to not be as harmful as once portrayed. Mandatory Minimums introduced harmful sentences for marijuana. For instance, if you were thought to have attempted or actually carried out possession with intent to distribute was 10 years. If it was your second offense, you could see 20 years to life in prison for your crimes. So we see that people with either addiction problems or catering to the addictions of others, were forced into harsh sentencing. In the age of harsh sentencing for already extremely regulated drugs, our incarceration rate skyrocketed. The number of incarcerated citizens went from 513,900 in 1980, to 759,100 in 1985. In just FIVE YEARS, we see incarceration has essentially gone up ¼ . According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, in 1985 of those 759,100, 94% (718,507) were in jail due to drug related crimes. In this case, the mandatory minimum sentences increased the amount of people who were in jail, and the amount of people who there for drug related crimes.

Bill Clinton was elected in the 90s majorly on his support of tougher prison sentencing. One of the major decisions that shaped his career was the 1994 Crime Bill. This bill introduced policies which expanded the death penalty, encouraged states to issue longer prison sentences, and eliminated federal education funding in prisons. The  prison population went from 1,179,200 to 2,015,300 in the year 2000. Bill clinton later admitted that this bill made the problem of mass incarceration much worse. The 1994 Crime Bill perpetuated the problem of mass incarceration, by encouraging prison systems to further the problem of mass incarceration. These bills throughout three decades have furthered the problem that America faced and continue to face today.

Throughout three decades, American policy makers perpetuated the issue of mass incarceration through policies that made it harder for prisoners to rehabilitate or even get out of jail. In the 70s, the beginning of the War on Drugs, Nixon began to crack down on drugs, treating drug addiction as a crime issue instead of a health issue. In the 1980s, Ronald Reagan introduced in Mandatory Minimum Sentences. These sentences not only brought people into prison because of minor drug charges, but kept them there for years, sometimes decades. In 1994, Bill Clinton continued these issues of mass incarceration, by encouraging state governments to make longer sentences. Today, we see what these policies have created. A massive prison population, the largest in the world. But we can look at our prison policy history and see where surges in the prison population occurred and that they often coincide with a change in policy.

Bibliography

1. Ec. "Abuse of Drug and Control Act of 1970." Abuse of Drug and COntrol Act of 1970 (n.d.): n. pag. Web. 19 Mar. 2017. https://legcounsel.house.gov/Comps/91-513.pdf

2. Beinart, Peter. "Hillary Clinton and the Tragic Politics of Crime." The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company, 01 May 2015. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/05/the-tragic-politics-of-crime/392114/

3. "Proclamation by the President of the United States of America." The American Journal of International Law 11.3, Supplement: Official Documents (1917): 152-56. Government Policy Office. US Government. Web. 23 Mar. 2017https://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-103hr3355enr/pdf/BILLS-103hr3355enr.pdf

4. Drugs and Crime Facts, 1989. Rockville, MD: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1990. Bureau of Justice Statistics. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/dcf89.pdf

5. Caelleigh, Addeane S. "Prisoners." Academic Medicine 75.10 (2000): 999. Bureau of Justice Statistics. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/p00.pdf

The sky was bright and full of puffy white clouds. The air had a slight smell of rain and it was really humid. This was a pretty warm day for mid-April. I was wearing my favorite blue dress. The waist had blue flowers and I had put on a jean jacket over it so my outfit would be more “school appropriate.” After school, I was walking down the steps into the train station and I heard someone say,

“How old are you?”

There were a bunch of people at the train station, I did not think they were talking to me. Hundreds of conversations were buzzing around on the steps at 15th street. So, I proceed to walk underground towards the Comcast Center. I can feel someone follow me but I’m not sure; so I keep walking and move to the left.

“Ohh you cut me off” A male voice says jokingly.

“Oh, sorry” I muttered trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

At this point I was focusing on getting near people so I’d feel more comfortable. There was minimal light in this hallway and we were the only people walking. My heart was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but my mind knew better. My pace quickened a bit as I got further into the underground

“That dress is short!” he chuckles.

At that moment I’m thinking to myself  ‘Are you serious man?’ I was trying to get rid of the thought that this man was following me a block and a half underground. ‘Maybe he’s just going the same way as me!’ was the thought I tried to keep in my head. All I could do is be annoyed that he felt the need to tell me about my outfit and make me feel uncomfortable as he followed me underground.

“How old are you?”

He was now next to my left shoulder tailing about two feet behind me.

“I’m 15!”

I said in a hurry. I was so shocked that I even said the wrong age. I had been 16 for around four months I was just so blank at that moment.

“Oh shit! Sorry, my bad thought you were older.”

He muttered as he walked back in the opposite direction towards the exit.

After, I was astonished. This man really just followed me through the train station. I mean it’s my body I’m allowed to wear whatever I want. No one deserves to be followed because someone is interested in them because of how much skin they show.

There are so many different variables that resulted in me wearing this outfit so I purposely would not get called out or harassed. I tugged at my dress constantly, wore a jean jacket to cover my arms; things that I wasn’t insecure about became things I was adamant about hiding. I know that what I wear does not give anyone the right to harass me. This is the kind of violence I am faced with most often.

The way that this man acted showed me that to him, girls who dress nice can either be one of two things; fashionable or asking for it and fashionable. Nothing about me said that I wanted him to follow me in a dimly lit hallway. I was minding my business yet, I was still street harassed.

Exploring more into why these things happen, I looked into music. Specifically, hip hop music. The lyrics say one thing, but the actions of the artist are another. Young rapper Xxxtentacion is currently in jail for assaulting his pregnant ex-girlfriend. He has a large fan base that often use the hashtag ‘FreeX’ because they believe that he is innocent. Kodak Black is another rapper that was previously in jail for being accused of raping a fan back in February 2016. In the article ‘Xxxtentacion, Kodak Black & Rap’s Ugly Embrace of Sexual Assault’ the author highlights the fans acceptance of these harsh crimes saying that, “#FreeKodak and #FreeX may have started as rallying cries for pre existing fans trying to maintaining their innocence, but in reality, they’ve acted as advertisements to bring in new listeners. Not only are these alleged crimes not slowing down the careers of either artist, they’re boosting their profiles.” Not only does this normalize that kind of behavior, it also perpetuates the fact that the victim may be lying. Whether these accusations are true or not, victim blaming will still happen and fans will still buy their music regardless and this violence will still happen.

This dismissive behavior of sexual assault and harassment becomes a never ending cycle. The article also highlights the fact that, “Of course, that didn’t stop #FreeKodak from taking over the internet, prioritizing a man’s squandered talents over a woman’s accusation that many still aren’t taking seriously. ...which helped him earn the first top 10 hit of his career.” In result of this, music may play a role, but the artist can also have influence. They live without shame and the women never get justice.

I had just gotten off the bus at Phil Ellena street, I was traveling home from school and it was around 7:00 at night. It was cold, dark and damp from the rain that drenched the city earlier in the day The only thing I had on my mind was getting home and starting my homework. The streets lights were on but in reality it wasn’t nearly enough light for me to feel safe on to travel 5 blocks. 5 blocks may seem short but those blocks were long and in the cold they seemed even longer with the few set of eyes staring at me from across the street. The bus pulled off and I started to cross the street heading towards the corner store. There were always guys plastered in front of the store, probably selling drugs or doing some other mischievous act but they always watch me as soon as I get off the bus and usually I’m not intimidated by it but tonight was different.

Walking past the group guys, I made eye contact with the creepiest one. I looked him from his feet up to his head taking in every detail of his appearance. He was a big buff black guy, with a fitted cap on his head. He had a diamond earring in his ear which was gleaming due to  the radiance off of the streetlight. His left hand was deep into the pocket of his jeans and his pants hung low. I was a tad bit afraid because he tried to hit on me once in the store. The moment I caught eye contact I suppose he thought it was his moment to attack. He started calling for me and of course I ignored the first few calls but as he kept calling they seemed to get more and more intense. “You should smile sometimes.” “You have a nice body.” “I be seeing you around girl.” I kept trying to ignore him until his final words to me were “Fuck you too bitch, you ugly anyway.” I almost yelled at him, to say something derogatory back but I realized it probably wasn’t the best thing to do so I just walked away. But why? Shouldn’t I have stuck up for myself or something. Who is he to degrade me like that?

I’ve been facing my whole life like this, that this is the life of a woman. Men who feel as if it is in their power to sexualize you, harass you and make you feel worthless when you don’t agree. I thought women were supposed to be idolized as queen and the bearer of life. I believed that they should be respected and almost put on a pedestal to show how worthy they are but men who are born from a woman’s womb still find a way to disrespect us. Is catcalling, street harassment and the degradation of women considered violence? Yes. It makes women feel vulnerable , neglected, unsafe and attacked.

Going through these experiences, I realized violence falls a lot heavier on women and it is usually implemented by men. Each year over 51% of women which is above the national majority experience partner violence or sexual assault in 2012. In 2003, 119 women died as a result of physical violence in the workplace. 1 in 5 women compared to 1 in 71 men are victims of sexual violence or will become victims of sexual violence in their lifetime and this number has not gone down. We are suppose to honor and protect women, not beat them down with hatred,violence and discrimination. We as a community, not only men but also women need to stand together and demand equal rights and safety to women at home, in public and at their homes. It is our duty as a community and as a nation to provide respect for all women of all shapes and ethnicities.

Sources:

"Facts About Abuse." Facts About Abuse | Abused Women's Aid in Crisis. Abused Womens Aid's In Crisis, n.d. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.

"Violence Against Women In The Workplace." AFL-CIO. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Mar. 2017.

In today’s society women are victims of  street harassment. Statistics shows that in 1998 about 17.7 million women who are rape or even sexually assaulted, last year about 85% of women experienced stress harassment before turning 17. It also shows female who are the age of 16-19 are mostly likely to get harassed. "He was sitting next to me to my right and as I got up to de-board the bus I had to take a wide stance to get around him and when I did he reached up and grabbed my crotch," said Brittney Gilbert a victim of sexual harassment. “I was on the metro on my way home this evening and a man sat next to me and began to loudly talk about how nice my legs looked. I told him to stop and he wouldn't and I couldn't get out of the seat. He continued to encroach on myspace so I turned my head, and could feel everyone looking at me but not doing anything.” Said another victim that was victimized in harassment.

I personally find this act disgusting and wrong. No woman should ever experience such a horrific act. So the question is “Why don't women stand up for their rights, but what can men also do to stand up for this act?” Jared Marcelle was one of those guy who would catcall other women, but later on in life he realized that it was wrong. He found out that his sister Aleah was being catcalled by construction workers and he didn’t like that at all. He realized that he was being a hypocrite for saying something to those men when he does the same exact things. When someone is sexally assulted or harassed the moment is forever in their minds and their are physically and mentally traumatized. It plays over and over again in your mind and you think back and wonder, maybe I could have done something. If you think about it in today’s society we wish we could do something but honestly we all just sit there as bystanders and do nothing. Did you know that there was a law saying if you see something happening that you know is wrong and or could endanger another you could be arrested. That is called the good samaritan law which holds you accountable for not helping someone in need.

If we can do something to help women as a whole stop being the victims of rape and sexual harassment we should step up. Not all men are bad so we shouldn’t categorize them and put them in one box. The men who are not in the box with rapist and harassers could be the ones who make a difference by joining the marches and the always helping if they see someone in need. They can also shoot for justice and never make the victim feel like it’s their fault. Also, they could make sure that they are aware of how they could make someone feel when they say things that could make them feel uncomfortable.

This is simply why many women shield themselves when walking down a city street in broad daylight, or even when boarding crowded public transportation. Why? Because many women, regardless of age, weight, or appearance, say they've heard something along the lines of "Hey baby, you want some of this?" or "I like what I see" or "nice ass." It’s not okay to make women feel unsafe in their own environment. We should make everyone feel safe like they can walk down the street without being harassed.

I recently looked at an article about the sexual abuse and assault against women. It talked about what sexual assault can be and what it is. Sexual assault/abuse could be verbal, visual, or anything that forces someone to join in on unwanted sexual contact or attention. It can occur during anytime even in broad daylight which would be thought to be the most inconvenient but it happens and a lot of the time there are bystanders who don’t do anything. I believe that a lot of the time the person watching thinks that they are glad that it’s not them in that situation. This makes us weaker as a human race because we could change so many things that we know are wrong. So, if we band together as people who know right from wrong put the bad people away, fight for justice, and stop standing by and do something about it.

Citations:

"From online to the streets,." Hollaback You have the power to end harassment Home Comments. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Mar. 2017.

"Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics | RAINN." Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics | RAINN. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Mar. 2017.

"Radio Rookies: Reformed Catcaller Explores Roots Of Street Harassment." NPR. NPR, 23 Aug. 2016. Web. 22 Mar. 2017.

"Sexual Abuse and Assault Against Women." WebMD. WebMD, n.d. Web. 22 Mar. 2017.

Often time, when defining violence, the first things that seem to come to mind are the physical aspect of it. However, we often forget about the harm it can pose and have on a person's mind and emotion.  It can result in someone going into a deep depression, grief and even becoming  traumatized, things all caused by the mind. Mental harm and violation can take much time to heal, just as with physical violence.  This is because the mind is very powerful. It is the place in where mental violence occurs. The mind is often referred to as the “devil's playground” a place, when not guarded carefully can become someone's source of turmoil and pain. This is when it becomes damaging, the same way in which  physical violence is. It changes a person's character, and can turn a once stable mental state into an unstable one. I am a victim of mental violence and am a witness to this. Here is my story.

I gasped as the cool marble of the wall met with my neck. It was a warm summer day, and the cool air condition of the building that affected the temperature of the inner walls should have been refreshing. However, it was not refreshing, but uncomfortable and chilling. My blood ran cold, and my skin pricked from the coolness of the stone. It felt as if my heart would explode from my chest. His fingers slid around my throat, damp and sweaty. His stench burned my nostrils. “Ha, ha finally got you right where I need you.”  “No please stop, I said”, as he came in close to me his grip on my neck getting tighter. Just as his lips were about to meet mine, I kicked him in the shin as hard as I could and pushed him off of me. Breathing heavily, I stared at him my eyes wide with terror. I was never walking down that dark hall of the building by myself again. It was the year 2013, and soon after this was the time in which I would I become a victim of mental violence and the power it would later hold on life.  This was the year I was sexually harassed at a six week summer program, by three boys. I was only  thirteen and at this time, I was one of the many who just viewed violence as just physical harm.  I had yet to realize, just how much more the grief,  the mental violence would bring me  more than the physical.

I  also did not  know much or understand the signs of sexual harassment, but was very much aware of how uncomfortable it made me feel and dreaded mostly each day and moment of the program when I knew I would have to see those boys. I would often time try to hide and blend in between my groups of friends, keeping my head low when they would walk by, or sometimes changing my hair or take off my earrings,  to make me appeal “less attractive” to them. I thought that this would make them leave me alone. However it didn’t, instead the harassment seemed to escalate. From squeezing my butt, or grabbing me from behind, and even pinning me against walls, to verbally fighting over me. I kept my mouth shut , from the teachers, friends, and even my parents.

Although my mouth was shut, my mind was screaming. It felt as if I would explode from the turmoil I was experiencing in my mind. I became traumatized, often times waking up at night screaming and even panicking when being in a certain place or part of the building. The more I gave power to this mental violence, the slower I was to heal. In the future, when I would date other boys, I would scream at the slightest touch at a certain area , or cringe because of the discomfort, although years ago I had yet to heal from.  I had not only been  physically violated but also mentally violated. I had become diagnosed with mental violence and was experiencing the symptoms. The mental way in which it effected me became worse, and I would often times wake up in the night crying, and wake up in the mornings dreading having to go the program.  Even to this day,  I still struggle from the effects of being touched by them in inappropriate ways . and sensitive to the way I am handled.

Just as I have suffered  from the effects and impact of mental violence years and months after the incident,  upon returning from war, many veterans and soldiers experience symptoms of mental violence. Commonly known as PTSD or even  survivor’s guilt. In Moral Wounds After a War, an discussion forum with  a soldier expresses the way in which violence became mental after the war and changed his character. He quotes,  “Something is changed. You know, you feel down to your spirit. You know that you’re different now. You know, we don’t really have a consciousness of our own spirit until it’s wounded, and then it needs help.” After the war, this veteran  could not only feel that there  was a change in himself,  but could feel a change in  his consciousness. Consciousness is the mental awareness of the mind, and because of PTSD it was negatively affected. He states that often times you don’t notice that you have been mentally wounded until it begins to hit you and you begin to experience the symptoms. Upon experiencing the symptoms, you then realize that it is as a wound, needing help. Thus, showing the mental violence effects can go as deep as changing your character and the way in which you view things around you. Another soldier,  Michael Abbatello  still reports to suffering symptoms of mental violence, “ Michael Abbatello is still suffering from the guilt that his unit wasn’t there to protect an Afghan father who had provided intelligence on the enemy to the Marines.”

The guilt Michael is suffering from is something known as “Survivors Guilt,” which is remorse or even shame a veteran experiences after the war, due to the deaths of soldiers who worked alongside of them.” Often times with Survivor's Guilt, surviving soldiers feel as though they could have done more to protect and to save another soldier, and can struggle with guilt for years and months after a war. These symptoms although not physical,   mental struggles for soldiers, and can greatly affect their lifestyles, and their characters. Both survivors’ guilt and PTSD, can go as far as depression, grief, and even traumatizing flashbacks. According to Veteran Statistics of PTSD, as many as 11% of Veterans suffer from PTSD daily. A symptom, that requires much healing. Harmful to the mind and spirit.

Just as these veterans and I, and other victims of mental violence, it is a discomfort. Sometimes you do not even know you are a victim of it, until your mind becomes subject to it. It took weeks, for me to realize that the battle against my physical harassment, was not just with physical violence but with my mental violence. Taking the same time to heal and to adjust to as was for the veterans. Also, just as these veterans realized a change in themselves, I realized and tried to become a change to myself through my appearance and even with my mindset. I allowed for my mindset to be weakened and experienced my own form of PTSD. I allowed for it to have the power over me, and struggled against it. As they blamed themselves, I blamed myself, for being “so attractive that I gained their attention.” I blamed myself  for applying to the program and even being scared into my own silence. It took a while for me to realize that this was not my fault, it was my harassers. They had no reasons to do what they did to me, and put me through the torment they did. I had nothing to do with their choice and decision. As with the veterans, it was not their faults a certain soldier had died or that they were in their predicament in the first place. It was their fault that the world and the country by which they were fighting chose war over peaceful resolution. It was their faults’ that were drafted against their will and made to fight in the war.

Even to this day,  I still struggle from the effects of being touched by them in inappropriate ways . and sensitive to the way I am handled. However the difference between back then and now, is that I now am old enough and more aware of the symptoms of mental violence ,and can later use this to heal from the wounds that has so long scarred my mind.