Yeah, the needle hurts a bit. You’ll get used to it. Don’t worry about it, it’s your first time. Here, let me do it for you. Bite down on the belt, okay? Sweet. You got it. Alright, close your eyes. And, there. You’re done. Does it feel like you’re flying? That’s what it felt like for me. Yeah, don’t worry about it. Just relax. Flow with it.

I barely remember my first time. It was pretty great, though. I was fucking soaring. Just riding the moment, you know? You just hit the switch and every day’s a good day. Everything’s beautiful.

Well, define ‘problem.’ Everyone’s addicted to something. That’s my motto. Take a stockbroker: take away their money and they’ll withdraw, just like a priest if you take his faith. Everyone has something that they can’t live without. All we have to do is make sure we don’t run out of it.

You’ll learn to love it, though. I know it hurts the first time, but you’ll get over it. Some people even get addicted to the sting. Can you imagine? I wonder if they can get their fill just by sticking themselves with a needle. That would be much easier, huh? Yeah, just lie down, I’ll be there in a second. Do you remember when we were fifteen, and none of this had happened yet? When the worst thing we’d done was a little weed and some cigarettes? We used to get drunk together, and it meant the world. Man, that was a long, long time ago, huh? I felt so old.

Do you ever feel like the world is so far away? Like, time is just a thing, or something like that. You ever feel so quiet, so gone that everything just moves around you, and you’re frozen? Stuck to the moment? Can you hear me? Wow, you’re gone. Have a nice trip! *chuckles* Gimme a second… I’ll be there soon.

“this always happens, everytime i get a new rider something horrible happens to them they always get into accidents.I was really starting to like this owner, I was starting to think that he would actually stay this time. he was really nice and he took good care of me,he got my oil changed I never had less than a half tank and I was always kept squeaky clean and shiny. I never stayed with my owner for more than a year, and then we got into an accident and then i went to another owner. it did not always happen that way though sometimes I was gifted away, sometimes I was bought off of people and I remember that one time I was stolen from my owner. That time was crazy because after that I got a new skin put on so I wouldn't be recognized as the stolen bike, this really weird for a while cause I was not used to it but after a while I started to like it but then we got into an accident and my skin got scratched and they had to peel it off and I was back to normal.

after that I went to a dealership because my owner went to jail for getting into an accident and hitting someone, while on me, that was also a really sad moment for me because I felt partially responsible for the person's injuries. After that I remember going to a different owner he was about 19 years old in college and he was trying to impress girls with “his new shiny motorcycle”. our time together did not last long because he actually did not know how to ride a motorcycle, so him and a girl got into an accident he was trying to merge on the highway and braked to fast and the car behind us rammed into my back and sent all of us flying. although i got a bit banged up they both went flying and they had to go to the hospital. while he was there his parents took me to an used car dealership and they sold me. I Stayed there for a while collecting dust in the back with the other cars and bikes that everyone at the dealership. gave up hope of selling. then one day a strange man walked in and he asked if they had any bikes for sale, he looked kind of weird standing there in his late teenage years asking for a motorcycle. He was wearing khaki skinny pants a tight t-shirt and a pair of running shoes. They brought him over to my area with all the other bikes, at first he didn't see me but eventually he came over and he said this is the one and he asked the person helping how much and i was and the man asked how much he had and the boy said about 3500 and the man automatically took him up on the great offer, I was actually quite flattered given the fact I was not worth that much in my current state. After we left the dealership he immediately took me to an auto shop. On the front it read “jim’s auto” and we both went in and he stood me up strait and started taking me apart cleaning me up and putting my pieces back together and fixing my dents. I heard one of the other mechanics in there calling him a “ greaser” so that is what I started calling him. as soon as he was done cleaning I was all shiny and he filled up my tank and we went out on the highway at first I got scared that we would crash so I did not get clingy but at first we did not crash for days then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and by then we were good together and I thought this is the time that we are not gonna crash. Then it happened we were just going out for a cruise in the neighborhood and a drunk driver was speeding down the street and blindsided us and he flew 50 feet and I went under the car. I heard him hit the concrete, he fractured his pelvis and broke his back and got paralyzed from the waist down and as for me I went under the car and this was finally it for me I got crushed my engine got ran over, my handlebars got bent in two different ways and my rear got torn from my front. and that brings me to now I am laying in the junkyard waiting to be melted and turned into something new. But until then I am still the same piece of scrap metal that I started out as.

Ugh, I can’t believe I have to work with him again. Why does this always happen to me?

I just walked into my class and the teacher was making everyone change their seats. I was fine where I was sitting and all of a sudden, we change seats. Now I’m working with him, the person no one wants to work with because every project someone has done with him, ended up with him doing nothing and the other person doing everything.

(to the chair next to him/her) Okay, so we’re doing the Renaissance as our topic for this project and you’re going to find pictures about the Renaissance. I’ll give you the links where you can get the pictures from. So really, you don’t have to do anything.

Wow, I can’t believe he took my offer.

So, that’s everything you will be doing. After you finish with that, you can be done and leave me alone.

I’m making him feel useless, aren’t I. Listening to myself, I sound bossy and controlling. Why am I always trying to control situations? Am I making everyone feel useless?

I don’t really mean to, sometimes I can’t control it. Sometimes what I’m thinking just bursts out of me and I end up hurting the people around me. The hardest part about this is trying to apologize, trying to take back all of the hurtful things you said, with no intention to hurt anyone.

I know that bossing people around isn’t really who I am, it is just how people see me. I guess that I’ve always been bossy because I was always being bossed around by everyone that I knew. Maybe now I want to boss people around and see how they like it, make them see what it was like for me and make them feel the way I did when I was being bossed around. That’s not right; I don’t want people to see me as someone who is just bossy and controlling, even though I don’t want them to see the real me either.

Just control yourself right now, Ash, so that you don’t hurt anyone. Stay calm and just focus on your own work and maybe let him find the pictures on his own. If he needs your help he will ask, so just focus on your half of the project right now. (breathes in and out deeply)

I was trying to focus on my work, but I couldn’t stop looking at what he was doing every 5 seconds. I knew that something was going to burst out of my mouth, asking him what he was doing, but I was trying to control myself.

Hey, what are you working on? Oh, you’re still finding pictures? Ugh, sorry I didn’t mean it that way.

I can’t believe I just said that to him. Here comes the hard part; trying to apologize to him, but I don’t know what I should say to him. This time try to be yourself, be nice and you’ll figure out what to say.

This scene takes place in the bathroom in a mirror

While the scene is taking place the actress will be doing her hair, brushing her teeth, make up etc. to get the feel of her getting ready for school.

(Yelling) Yes mom I’m up

I am so up

I don’t have an attitude I just.. Ok whatever. (rolls eyes)

I’m so sick of this shit, I can’t wait to go to college (says under breath)

(Repeats loudly) I said I can’t wait to go to school and get this knowledge

Everyday is the same thing. Wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to sleep.

Ugh I really don't want to go to school today. I hate it there. All you see in school is a bunch of fake bitches you don't like, teachers who think you don't have a life outside of school, couples who think the hallway is a bedroom and a bunch of work that you won’t do until the night before. I wish I was sick. (feels face) Please someone give me the flu or chickenpox or something that lets me stay in bed all day today.

(Yelling) Mom (cough,cough) I’m sick

I am so sick

I am not full of shit, I’m sick I really am

Ok mom ok whatever (Mocks mom with hand)

Why doesn’t she understand that school is hell. I have to sit for 7 hours and watch a bunch of kids act like they are going to do something with their lives after high school is over. They talk about their big plans to go to Paris and China when the closest they will get to there is google maps. I mean don’t get me wrong some of them are perfectly capable of actually make their dreams a reality, but only the ones who actually care about their future. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the kids who buy 300 dollar shoes and get a 30 on a test. The kids who forget that school is for education and not just to meet people to have sex with.They will be the ones who end up being the neighborhood drug dealers, hoes, addicts, golddiggers and people who still live in their mom’s house at 35.”

Huh?

You're leaving?

Oh ok see you after school

She’ll never understand what it’s like for me at school.She is getting paid to be miserable my misery is 100 percent free. Getting talked about all the time for no reason. Teacher’s failing me because they’re “stressed” and need something to take the stress out on. Weird looks in the hallway, all of it it’s just exhausting. I just wish I could find any reason not to go to school today. A snowstorm, a sudden fire anything that would prohibit me from going. I just need a day, one day where I’m not stressed the fuck out from test or projects. One day where I don’t have to be around a bunch of people. One day where I can sit in my damn house in my pj’s eating Chinese food and watching movies. Put no I have to go to school. Honestly school is helping me do nothing. I’m just their everyday wasting time being taught things I’ll never use. I want to be a dancer and ya know that’s what I need to learn about if that’s what I want to do. So I really don’t understand how y= mx+b will help me do shit. School is so pointless. They teach us a bunch of crap that is useless in the real world. Now what they need to be teaching is how to pay taxes cause that shit is confusing.

(Brushing teeth and talking) I mean I would like to learn something useful for once.

(Spitting out toothpaste) Ya know I could always drop out. Be a drug dealer or a stripper maybe. That’s where the real money is. Naw I couldn’t do that I’m not slick enough to sell drugs and I’m not thick enough to be a stripper. (Laughing) ”

My mom would kill me if I did either of those.

(Mocking mom is annoying voice)  You have to stay in school and get an education and go to college and do this and that and blah blah blah.

(Pauses for a moment for a realization) I guess really we go to school for our parents. If it was up to kids we would drop out really. We bring home our grades that makes them happy or sad, either way they expect more. Seeing their child succeed brings them joy. They’re basically living through us. So in a way school isn’t really for kids. I mean I guess we benefit from it in the long run but really it’s for our mom’s and dad’s to see us become better people.

(Pause) Hmmm I never really thought of it that way. Well I guess school is kinda important. It’s our parents way of holding onto us as kids. (Checks phone) Wow it’s 7:45 in the morning and I already discovered the secret to life. (Chuckles)

(Face changes from laughing to frightened) 7:45 fuck I’m going to be late.

(Grabs phone and book bag) Great just great I’m going to be late to school on a Mon..

(Pauses after staring at phone) Saturday. I’m going to school on a Saturday… wow

(Facial expression is annoyed) ( Lights dim, Scene over)

“ 17 years I been doing this...17 long years. Having four kids, spending everyday at home picking up Lego's, organizing lunches, cleaning rooms, cooking, being the cool mom, the devoted mom. Perfect wife. Making sure his clothes were laid out in the morning, having his breakfast on the table before 7, dinner hot on the table when he got home, minding my business by not asking questions. Letting him be the man. I did all these things for Mark and our family...my family just to get a text three weeks ago saying...oh Caroline I think we should get a divorce. Just like that. I knew he was seeing that little hoe at his job Amanda who was barely able to buy a drink or smoke a cigarette, but I didn’t think he would throw the family away. I thought if I just kept doing what a good mother and wife should do that everything would be okay.

It wasn’t too long ago that I seen him cuddling that bitch at that cozy little bar “Cush” on 52nd South street. I was on my way to pick up dinner for the kids when I glanced over and saw them through the eerily romantic glass windows. Shock, Panic, and anger all ran through my mind, but at the same time I knew I couldn’t leave my life. Being the somewhat strong woman I once thought I was I just turned a blind eye thinking he would eventually get his fill of her and come back home. Now I guess not. What did I expect tho, I mean all men want the cutest, hottest, blondest piece on the market to take home and show off to their friends. My father did...Mark did it. Guess I should have known. What middle aged stud executive wants a good wife and mother by their side. They want the new, the wrinkless, the dumb who can’t pee for themselves without asking for assistance. Me...I’m not going down like that. He can have his little fling, but I’ll get my laugh to.

You see, I’ve done way too much in these 17 years to be flushed out of a life, sulking in tissues in some no name town trying to figure out what I was or who I was before I achieved my so called american dream. I need something to give me joy, give me happiness. Mark wants a new life...but I..want to take it away. I want to make him suffer, make him scream, make him wither away for being the coward he is. Maybe I’ll write a book called how to kill your husband, and say it’s realistic fiction. Killing might be extreme, but who cares. A deep part of me wants to take his life, but at the same time his life belongs to my children as well. Despite our lives Mark has always been a good father to them, they love him. At one point he used to be good to me, he used to love me.

Well, tomorrow’s picture day for your freshman year of high school. The choice for ensemble seems almost as if there’s really no competition for-um...what are you doing. Ha, I think there’s a mistake…That? You’re choosing that? Over me? But it doesn’t even go with what you’re wearing, and besides, that’s not even your favorite!

I guess I should’ve taken you not wearing me in the past five months as a warning that you wouldn’t have use for me anymore. But why? We had three amazing years together. It seems like yesterday when you first saw me hanging right there on the clearance rack. I was the perfect match for you, just the right blend of chic and casual but still quirky with a great splash of vintage.  When I caught your eye, it was like a match made in thrift-store heaven...well, your mom didn’t think so since I reminded her of the top she wore to her senior breakfast in 1987, but we were able to convince her to buy me. The first 15 times you wore me, you got compliments every time, and not even just from old people! When people asked where you got me, you would proudly explain that I was a one-of-a-kind vintage original and that they’d be lucky if they even find it from an eBay seller. In only a few short weeks I was promoted from just a mere occasional conversation starter to being worn almost everyday, sometimes without trips to the washer & dryer.

Remember when you won your first spelling bee, or got an 100 on that test? I was right there! I mean...I wouldn’t consider myself lucky or anything, but you can’t ignore coincidence. Besides, who else had your back (literally) when those bullies were talking badly about your fashion choices? Oh don’t go flaunting off that cheap department store top in the mirror like it’s a 30+ year old 100% silk designer authentic. It doesn’t flatter your skintone in the slightest. Teal? Never a good choice for photos, especially with khakis. Oh, a scarf? That doesn’t make that disaster of an outfit better one bit. Wait...you’re putting it back in the closet. Oh, okay...maybe you’ll make a good choice this time. [isn’t chosen] A sweater? You’re wearing a sweater? You might as well wear a beanie and an eyebrow piercing! How dare you even think that a flimsy sweater will suffice as a decent garment for one of the biggest days of your high school career? Don’t tell me...you’re actually reaching for a beanie aren’t you.

Okay, what is going on here? You treat me like your favorite outfit one day and then the next you decide that you’re too good for me? You used to be this girl who didn’t care what people thought of her, who was just shamelessly unspoken and proud to stand out. I remember when you bought me, you just had to have me to wear with those amazing sapphire blue bell bottoms that were stunningly authentic and every bit antique. For three years I was the literal garb of your personality; bright and unique but still subtle and light. There was no special event that you went to without me as a plus one and I was your go-to for birthday parties. So what exactly happened? Did you...outgrow me?