Takes place in a dark corner of stage.

Be quiet, not a sound I think he’s coming. Don’t breathe too heavy, don’t show fear, it’ll be over soon.

(pause)

Where’s my mother? Where’s my father? Why hasn’t anyone come yet? Is it my fault? What did I do wrong? All I was doing was coming home from practice right around the corner. The man didn’t seem like a threat then. He just asked which direction he needed to take.

“Hey, excuse me miss which way to the park”

(Character shivers)

I can still hear him in my head...why! (Crying)

He went the opposite direction of where I was walking when he pulled off, and then turned around. Why? Did I have something? Does he hate me? What does he want to do with me?

I don’t even know where I am. You know what, where’s the freaking police?

Can they not do there job, correctly? What if I’m dead, is anyone even worried? Does anyone even know I’m gone?

I’m only 15 years old. I thought I was doing everything right. I didn’t act older than my age, behave well in school, got involved in programs. Most girls my age now a days don’t even take care of themselves. At least I don’t go around… ughhh they're all boy crazy. But not me, I try to stay on task. And of course this happens to me.

Silent pause.

Crazy thing is, I watch shows like this almost everyday. Criminal minds, law and order, how am I not prepared for when something like this happens. In most situations like these something bad happens within a short time frame to the victim in kidnaps.

Investigates body for marks of any kind

Oh god, I have scratches all over my arm. I must’ve put up a fight, at least that’s good, right? I did what I could. Now it’s up to the police to do what they can and find me. I hope there's good evidence left behind.

Maybe I dropped something, or he did.

Maybe there’s already a suspect in mind.

What if I, actually do know him.

There’s a good chance I may. (panicking)

You know what, maybe if I just count in my head they’ll be here sooner than I anticipate.

1….2…..3…...No I can’t

They’re taking too long to get here. Maybe they can’t find me, it was a random man that took me I think. How will they find him! Maybe they will like in those shows, they always find them. Yea ,okay I’ll be fine. I’ll be back home with my parents fine and okay. Yes, The place where I’m the most comfortable. Right about now I’d be in my room listening to my playlist, scrolling through Instagram feed. But, I just want to go home!

Hears Footsteps.

Oh no, I think he’s coming. What to do, what to do? Should I act sleep? Fight back? Act brave and speak? Ask him questions? Make him feel guilty? Pause

*Gasps

The door

Is seated on a chair

Waiter gives menu(invisibly)

 *Gives a nervous smile and a small chuckle*

looks at menu and then looks up*

 Oh no…. what the hell do I even want. Why is it always like this everytime I go out to eat? It’s like I don't even know myself well enough to choose a single damn thing.

*Person looks at menu at points at things* *sighs*

I could have the- no that's too uhm- OH, how about the- hmm... noo. Maybe i'll just have the ew... Nope. no thanks. Ugh, why did I not think ahead and look at the menu online or just go my regular place, why did I need to feel the need to  go here anyways, time is money. I could be working right now. I'M SUCH A FOOL. Google is my best friend, ALWAYS! and yet…. I couldn't even ask what the hell what was on the menu for this place? Wow me! I kinda just came here anyways, cause she told me so much about it. How much she wanted to come here… Mom-

*Sees waiter coming, panics*

(In a nervous tone) No i'm- I'm not ready yet. T-t-thank you.

      (shakes head)  It's not like I don't k-know what’s on my brain. I-I know what’s on my brain , i-i want some food. AGHH. In the crevices of my brain the-there’s all that stuff that I learned in high school, then t-there’s all that stuff the teacher said to k-ee-ep at the back of my brain c-cause it go-gonna be on the test, i-i-relevant really .... oh, oh and then there's all th-those witty remarks mom used to tell me in response to all m-m-my stupid ones. (grows grim and sad) I miss her. I really do...s-s-she would h-help me when I started to panicking , a-and be-begin to stutter like this e-even though I-I wasn’t a-always like this.  (takes deep breath) She w-would be proud (takes deep breath then sighs again, goes to normal tone), that i'm “exploring new foods.” She loved food. If only I took her to places before she died….to this place... Hmpf, death. That’s a meal she never should never have swallowed…. However, if she were here she would tell me to not be nervous, to be brave I suppose, and explore new aspects of different things, and to just choose the damn dish that I wanted already, but i would tell her, it ain't that simple. I’d tell her that I think it’s my fault that she died, because family never fails to tell me so, I’d tell her that because of that, the choices I make have to be articulated before hand so I don’t regret everything I do...because I already do. I feel that way mom. And if you think otherwise you're wrong. Look at the menu of my brain mom, look at it, it’s filled with memories of empty actions….regrets…. regrets that I could have avoided, but i I didn’t. When you were alive I spent most of my precious time working overtime. We needed the money. At least, I thought we did.  All that time that I could have spent on you…..  I don’t deserve to be in this damn place without you here… I-I already feel empty…. hah(chuckles) and the fact that i’ve been trying to fill my emptiness with-

     “Oh, uhm, food, m-my order? hah, yeah uh... (looks at time, fakingly), a-a-ctually, I-I uhm w-wasn’t really h-h-ungry anyways,  I-I have to go, I-Im so so, so sorry, b-but I-I have to go. T-Thank you.”

    (Walks out) I-it was never going to f-fucking work out anyways….(sighs) Happy Birthday Mom....

I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally silenced. This has been going on for so long, I am almost immune to it. The beatings, the touching, the lies. I am in over my head. I have to let someone know or I will go crazy.  I’m so scared. I do not know how this will change my life. If I tell the police and they both get locked up, who is going to take care of me? I am afraid that it will all backfire, that I will suffer worse than them. Because although they have put me through so much, I need them more than they know. This is tearing me apart, and consuming me,  If I don’t tell something soon, I am going to explode. I’ve

} been thinking about telling my best friend Aidan. Aidan’s been my best friend since we’ve both learned how to walk. lol bus rides, he has been there for me more than anyone else. I cannot imagine life without him, his kind smile, reassuring words, and his warm laugh. They have all but made everything bad in my life more bearable. I’ve trusted him with everything, every single part of me, he pretty much knows me more than anyone else on earth.

I know he’s a good friend but still, i'm frightened to tell anybody because I don't want them sharing out my secret. My mom and Aiden's mom were friends since they were in high school and after going to the same college, because they became so close, they decided that when they both had children, their kid’s would also be best friends.

I just don’t know what to do right now I'm hoping he’s not going to say anything I know he’s going to stick by my side through everything again is the only person who I can trust he’s the only person in the world who means so much to me I don't know what I would do if he broke trust

All I'm thinking is about how my father is sexually abusing me and how my mother is physically I just need help but I don't the help because my parents are going to be in danger and i'm afraid of what they're going to do to me. Why do i have to go through this how come i just can't have a perfect life how come my parents are doing this to me what type of parents would do this to there own child how can you feel so comfortable doing this to me i want to love my parents but i can't because of the things they're doing i don't even know if they love me because if they did they wouldn't be abusing me

All im hearing is the ambulance the cops  the sirens cops banging on to the door to get in.

Why would adian ever let my secret out i thought i would be able to trust my bestfriend the one who i knew since kindergarten the one where we learned how to walk together the one where we stuck together the one and the one where we grew up together that was supposed to be my best friend it's killing me inside that my trust broken i feel so hurt i thought that i can trust that one person but now i can't because i told him i told him not to tell anyone he knows my parents are going to be in danger he knows they might do something to me when the both get out so why would you ever share out that secret that was suppose to stay between me and you.i feel like my life ended

“Jacob, you can't keep doing this. Its getting out of hand. Let me see your face… This is unbelieveable!”  

Your face is worse than last time, the old cuts are reopened and now bursting with blood and puss. Why do you do it, and don't tell me ‘it's fun’ because I know for a fact that you don't do this for a hobby. Ugh, and those sneakers! Take those off, their soaked, i'll throw them in the dryer for an hour while I get you cleaned up.

What did you say?I  hear your voice doing that ‘I don't actually want you to hear me, but I need you to know’ thing. I’m just gonna ignore you if you ramble like that. If you wanna tell me something then tell me and stop that under-your-breath bullshit, it really gets on my nerves.

*slap*

“You got in a fight with our dad? Look i'm sorry I slapped you but but I had no choice, the fact that you even had the nerve to do something like. Turn your head and let me get that disgusting mucusy blood off you jaw. Thats disgusting. So how'd it happen? I'm not gonna ask who started it cuz I already know it was you, it's always you”

I can't believe you did this again. Haven't you learned by now? How could you fuck up that bad? How could dad fuck up that bad?maybe this was my fault, maybe if I had just listened to dad and stop trusting you then I wouldn't be in this situation, cleaning my screwup of a brothers bloody face. Why do I even comfort you anymore? your a jerk! But you're my big brother.

I hear your apology and although it does sound sincere, which is weird coming from you,it's not gonna work this time, you screwed up. Your rambling is getting out of hand just speak. Yes I heard you, and I know you're sorry I know you do it for me and I know you will never stop fighting for me, but this is unforgivable, he's our dad and you need to get that through your thick head. I don't know why I continue to hurt myself like this maybe I do get myself into these situations, because I know for a fact that you'll be back out on the street again tomorrow sending yet another guy to the hospital for looking at me the wrong way.  You're a liar! you lie to dad, to mom to your friends, just stop it and maybe people will stick around longer! Just try. ok?

stop crying.  No, no I don’t think you’re a liar. At least not to me. You're my favorite person in this crazy world and I know you'll protect me. You're my big brother.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/1Y39zGAD3mK52jIH3

My king, ruler of the great kingdoms and heir to the throne, If you would grant me time and your presence, I will speak truthfully with a clear tongue by your great name I swear it. I know I have wronged you in the past and my words have been venom to your military but I beg of your ears.  It would be my honor to inform you of who conspires to bury your army in the dust.

As royal advisor of the king I’m obligated to advise you of what's to come at the Battle of Dorm. As your men march south… west I mean west on the shores, my apologies my king. Lord Darzi's Intends to intercept your men in the midst of night while beds are laid. There are no safe lands on your route my king. My king I beg of you to listen to my advice, You’re the greatest war commander the 10 kingdoms have, but even leaders such as yourself have won many other battle’s when avoiding bloodshed, and yet to this day you stay seated on the throne. Some of the greatest battles to come to the 10 kingdoms have simply been won from the words of an advisor, however I know my words are not as fluent as the advisors before me but I’m trying to show you I’ve changed my King. What I speak of does not come from the mouth alone, it is written in ink. My words are not crafted in my mind. My king, to avoid such warnings from raven would be sentencing your entire army to death my king. “Lord Darzi is planning an attack on the shore of the king's army, inform the king immediately.” it said. I propose we prepare camp first sight of sunlight. We head west up the mountains for higher ground. We arm all of our men with bows and flaming arrow and rain hell on them from the mountain.

No more blood needs to be shed my lord, no more men need to sacrifice themselves to a lost cause.  My lord you are ruler of an army, that I as a General commanded and fought for. I’m 55 years of age, but If I were still young on that battlefield I would rather slit my wrist than have the thought of death a cloud my mind knowing there could’ve been hope. Draw your men back to the capital and all of the forces will soon be aware that they cannot penetrate your mighty army. This is what I advise you my king, no my king this is what I beg of you, I fought many wars as a General before being at your hand my king, I’ve experienced things, I’ve seen thing no man should ever lay an eye upon, yet i'm standing here by the grace of the Gods, so hear me out my king and I won’t disappoint you as I have before. Now I’m sure all of which I speak may come unreasonable considering the lost battle in Germania in which we lost because of my foolish advice, but maybe today is the day my king, today is the day I save the lives of all the children and women in the city, I’m trying to prove to you my worth my king, but a decision must be made my king. I have won wars for you though my king haven’t I? I’m just doing what you have called me for my king. So will you believe me just this once? Are my words not clear enough today? Will you save the lives of thousands of your men? Will you spare an old man the guilt of death on his shoulder? Will you do this for your people and for me my king? So take my advice my king and spare me… no spare us all the thought of another man losing his life.  

Oh no. Oh shit. Shit. Holy crap what is he doing here? He’s supposed to have marching band today. Ahhh. NO. You know what it’s fine, I’m fine, I’m sure he won’t notice me. Oh wait of course he’ll freaking notice me. Why? Cause I’m the one gonna be ringing up whatever he buys. Okay it’s okay, I’ll be fine.

I should say something to him. Yeah it's not like he doesn't know who I am. Let me just… let me just organize this candy first. -organizes candy at cashier-

Oh he likes root beer. Wow… lots of root beer. He's taking his time. He seems like one of those customers that spends ten minutes picking out what they want to buy. We don't have a huge selection here, not being a chain and all, so it'll be no time before he comes up and has to pay.

Let's do this. When he comes up, I say hello, he says hello…. what happens after that? Is it weird to tell someone that you're madly crushing on them, and have been for a year and a half, in a candy store?  -jumps from ringing of store bell- My god we should really get a less jumpy bell.

Ah Matthew he's so great. I've known him since third grade when we arrived in Ms. Perkins class and our moms started to chat it up, moms being moms. His family would come over to my house every Friday and our moms would drink wine out of huge glasses, gossiping about the neighborhood while our dads would go down to the garage and work (obsess) over the 1967 blue mustang my dad had in our garage. While we usually just ending up watching whatever is on TV that night, and then we gather up for a ‘family and friends’ game night. Oh god, did I really just say that? Shows how exciting life is here in New Jersey suburbia.

Why tell him now? Well! Maybe because today in school I overheard Becky and Jessica discussing how if Becky asked Matthew out then it would increase her social status. And I quote, “Have you seen him? He’s little boy no more.” First of all, we’re in tenth grade, not running for congress, so why do you need a goddamn social status? Second of all, he is more than just good looking, although he did have a really nice glo-up. Not that I noticed! Oh whom I kidding he went from Screech to Slater in one summer between ninth and tenth.

But he’s more than just a face. He’s the boy that carried me from the local pool back to my house when I banged my head against the concrete in fifth grade. He’s the boy that doesn’t speak mean of anyone, no matter how vile they are. He cares about his mom, his friends, and the happiness of others. He’s the person that geeks out over the new stars wars movies and Harry Potter. He loves photography and the outdoors… and dresses not as if he just came to school in his pajamas! He’s amazing, and his smile sends me on a whirlwind of butterflies in my stomach.

Oh, looks like now he’s in the chip section. Hot cheetos, respectable choice. He won’t be long. He’ll probably be here soon.

But a guy like him would never look twice at a girl like me, even if we have been friends for years. I’m not pretty like Becky and Jessica. They flirt and flaunt, and then there’s me. Me who doesn’t know how to flirt. Doesn’t have much, or anything to flaunt. A boy says hi to me and I try to speak, and then words don’t always come out! Oh god here he comes. Hair, teeth clean, boom okay.

Hey. I’m good, how bout you? Good. Is this all? Okay. Anything else I can help you with? Okay. That’ll be 7.92. Ten dollars, here’s your change- 2.08. Have a nice day…

Matt! Would you want to maybe, perhaps, hang out on Friday? Ditch annual family game night and um, go to the carnival downtown instead….?

Hello, I need to talk to you, it's important.  I wanted to tell you in person but I can't wait any longer.There’s something I need to tell you. Something about my past. You know me as Amanda  but that’s not my original name. My name used to be Ama. It means the one who was born on saturday. I changed it when I was sixteen. I figured I should tell  tell you now that we are getting  married. There is only a month left till the wedding and I figured I couldn’t hold it off any longer.  Better late than never right?  I am sorry for waiting so long but  I was trying to figure out a way to tell you. I just want everything to be out in the open.

Why? Because No more secrets.

How much time do you have?

My mother was a cultured woman. My family was very big on tradition. My mother and father were so used to their costumes so even when we came here to the u.s they kept true to those traditions. I was so little when we moved that I had no loyalty to those tradition as they did. My name was Ama. This three letter is what defined me. My name was the only thing I knew that would never change I took comfort in knowing this. All my life I was kept in this little box with my life all planned out for me. I did as I was told. I was to act as a lady and grow up to be doctor. Any Kind of doctor how kind of them to let me pick my own speciality although now thinking of it they had input on that aswell. I was to wear hijab everyday and not ask any questions or even complain at the smallest detail even with the acute pain of the pin throbbing at my scalp.

There was a time that would have done anything for my parents. When I turned sixteen instead of having a normal sweet sixteen we went  to Ghana and celebrated it with family. OH because we were  everything but normal. You would think that would be the best time of my life, image you get to spend your birthday outside the country but in fact it was the exact opposite. I had grew to learn that my grandmother was ill and that was the only reason we had came. We were not here to celebrate but instead here to mourn. I had been lied to.  My grandmother had been sick for a while so I had to have known it was was coming. She was second mother. Before she fell ill she was the one that took care me. Her and  I were close and I could tell her everything even if was about boys. When her illness became worse they sent her back to Ghana for herbal treatment since our western medicine had failed us. I had prayed over and over for Allah to help me heal her.  He ignored me.  After she died I no longer believed in the words of Allah. He had not been there for me when I need him and that my reason for abounding him. I just was returning the favor as you would say.

I needed a new start. It was time for change. It was the moment I had dreamed for years was here. I had never expressed my desire to practice a new religion I went to the mirror and look at myself with the hijab one last time. I took each pin out one by one. It was finally off and I was finally free. I was doing this for myself and no one else. I was tired of living in my parents shadow and having to do everything they asked of me because they knew what was best and hearing  “We are doing this for you Ama” everytime I questioned them.  Once I showed my parents that I had taken off my hijab they did not speak to me. We have not spoken since that day. I was sixteen then.

I figured I should reached out to her being with the wedding being a month away and all. I mean how would it look like not not having the mother of the bride at the wedding. I agree even though we don't get along I still would like her to be there. I know she will want me to go back to using my original name but I guess it's worth it if it means having her there. You’re right I’ll should call her.

I am Ama nothing more nothing less.

It really wasnt my fault, I mean some of it was and some of it was just coincidental. At least my mom ain’t find my gun in my bag, I would have been all types of done. Instead I just got kicked out.

That is allll over, now the streets are my home from the chinese place to the end of the block. It always plays in mind. I was standing right there in my room, I was just chillin in bed, talking on the phone. That’s when I heard it, my brother rated me out he snitched on his older brother that both bought him a bike and a skateboard.

Apparently, it was quote unquote peer pressure, I didn't believe him at all. He said before I left that he was scared, yea ok that's what he said when dad died. Was’t scared when he said it to mo-no wait his mom. To me this reason was not even that big of a deal, what she saw like 4 small baggies of weed big deal! I hate her so much she is so protective and always wants to do things her way and whatever happens good or bad she takes it out her kids like what is wrong with you. She acts like smoking weed is bad anyway it really is not, and besides she used to smoke it everyday no matter what, so why can’t I?

Well that's all over like I said my new home is the streets. But if she comes back begging me to come back to the house I’m going to expose her. She acts like I know nothing. You're probably wondering what I am talking about, well ever since my dad died she was addicted to drugs and she has always been looking around for money trying to always buy some. I remember I walked into her room at like 4 in the morning watching her bout to overdose, that's when I stepped in and tried to help. Yet if she saw me smoking she would have just said to stop no but when I see her doing something worse I actually help her and step in, something she will never do for me. I guess the only bright side of this is that I actually tried to stop her and wanted to help, not just kick my child out the house for 4 small baggies. Well now it’s all about making bread on the street and survivin.

But what if doesn’t work out or what if something happens, I don’t know what to do maan. What if I start rappin. Naw I’m not Ice Cube or Eazy-E. I gotta start sellin more weed. You know what makes me so much more mad, the fact that she had the nerve to ask me why I smoke it. But then again its for a good reason or at least I think it's a really good reason. I smoke it cause all the pain that I ever had goes away all my headaches all the pain from one day. Wait that was really good. I smoke it cause all the pain that I ever had goes away all my headaches all the pain from one day I remember all I used to do was wear the same lay the kids I went to school with used to always hate but at the end of the day I was worryin bout the price, cause I was the one bouta pay, ok. I could really make it if I try. Damn I really wish I coulda went back, I guess she really doesn’t want me around anymore.